singlemates.net
You have heard people talking about it. You’ve likely even viewed advertisements for it on television. But for some reason, you haven’t yet given online dating a try. Maybe you’re a bit anxious. Perhaps you don’t know a good deal about computers and the Internet. Perhaps you will think less of yourself if you try and find companionship using technology instead of your personality. These concerns are understandable, but when you consider that millions of men and women are doing it every day, you have got to think that possibly online dating isn’t so bad.
The way online dating works is actually simple. You first need a way to connect to the Internet, which most people nowadays already have so that shouldn’t be an issue. Then using the Internet, you need to find a suitable online dating website. Do not let the word suitable scare you off. Because you’ll see once you get into online dating, there are lots of different dating sites that cater to different groups or lifestyles. You’ll find sites for seniors, Christians, homosexuals, plain old heterosexual, and plenty more.
How to use internet dating websites
Most of the internet dating sites are subscription-based, meaning that you will have to join before you are able to participate. Most often, it will cost money to join, only on some online dating websites, membership is free. The process of joining usually does not involve much more than agreeing to the online dating site’s terms and conditions and paying the fee, if applicable.
Once you’re a member, the next thing you’ll need to do is create a profile and a header. Your profile is what other members are going to read and based on your profile, another person should be able to determine whether you sound like someone worth pursuing. An effective profile not only describes you, it also talks about the qualities you are seeking in someone else. Make it unique and be sure to proofread it before posting so you are sure that what it says is really what you want to say. If the site allows members to attach photos to profiles, you will have to decide if this is something you’ll would like to do. If so, just follow the instructions to attach it to your profile.
Once your profile is posted, you can sit back and wait for others to start corresponding or you can begin checking out other members’ profiles. If you find someone who sounds interesting, you can initiate the conversation. In addition to corresponding via email and the ability to sort/delete your messages, online dating sites generally offer other activities you can participate in. A few sites offer live (typed) conversations via a site’s message board, and some sites host special events. Check both out and see whether those are activities you want to participate in.
Online dating websites offer two really nice features. First, most are open around the clock so you can ‘date’ when it’s convenient for you. And second, new members join all the time so there will always be someone new to check out!
In the past, i.e. the 1990’s, online dating was a brand new idea. Unlike today, most people did not own PC’s or even have access to the internet. Times have changed. Online dating is not only IN the mainstream, it IS the mainstream.
There are many reasons for the phenomenal growth of online dating sites and the number of people, men and women of all ages, races and religions who use them as their primary source for meeting people and looking for “the one”.
If you don’t believe me, just ask your friends in the “real” world. If they are honest, most of them will tell you they have or are using an online dating service.
Here are three good reasons why thousands of people sign up for dating services everyday:
You can be anonymous. You will never be required to give your real name, address, email address, phone number or place of employment to another online user. You, of course, may do so but only at your own discretion and only when you feel completely safe. You are not required to post a picture of yourself. Posting a picture, however, will get more responses to your profile. So you can surf through the other members on the dating site you have joined with complete anonymity.
You have so many more choices online that you do in your brick and mortar world. Before the world of online dating came of age, the choice of friends and even of lifetime partners was limited to those we came in contact with through college or work. No more…the world is your oyster. You can go through hundreds…even thousands of profiles to find the right man for you.
The “safety factor” is the biggest reason of all. An online dating service will never reveal your personal information. You get to choose who has that information and when they have it.
Life isn’t fair. Men get all the breaks. You’ve devoted all of your 20’s to getting your career off the ground. Not that you haven’t been dating…you have, but not seriously. Now here you are…30 something and there is no long term relationship in sight. You can actually hear your biological clock ticking. You have a precious few years to find a man to fall in love with, make him fall in love with you, get married, and have a baby or its lights out. You already know all of the men in your social circle. Not that they aren’t nice guys…some of them…but none of them are your soul mate. What’s a girl to do?
Consider online dating. You have the opportunity to read hundreds of profiles and look at hundreds of pictures in search of that “someone” that will be right for you. Maybe he will live in the same city you do…maybe he will live across the country or even in another country altogether. You aren’t limited to only those men that you come in contact with personally. The possibilities are almost endless.
“Is online dating safe”, you ask. “Aren’t the online dating sites made up entirely of perverts, sexual predators and weirdoes in assorted shapes and sizes?” the answer is, no they aren’t. Not anymore anyway. That was true when online dating first came on the scene but now it is mainstream. It’s as safe as you make it using common sense and sound judgment. Use the same caution that you would when meeting any stranger. Don’t give your real name, address or phone number until you feel safe doing so. Don’t rush into a face-to-face meeting until you are confident and then make the first meeting in a public place and during daylight hours. Give it a try…Mr. Right might be a few mouse clicks away.
The odds of finding your “soul-mate” online are a lot better than you may think. It doesn’t happen for everyone, of course, but it can happen for you. The world of internet or online dating has exploded over the last few years.
As our lives become busier and busier we need to make better use of our time and energy in our search for the one man who will make our lives complete.
The old saying, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a princess” is no longer true. Why kiss frogs when you can read hundreds of profiles and look at the pictures that go with them for a small monthly fee? That saves time and money…not to mention lip burn.
These are a few good reasons to consider online dating:
There is a wide range of men to choose from. You aren’t limited to the men in your social circle or work environment.
You have the opportunity to get to know a lot about a man before you ever contact him for the first time. You will know his age, marital status, what city he lives in, whether he has children, his height/weight and his likes and dislikes all from his profile. You’ll even see a picture of him.
You have a better chance to present yourself in a favorable way. This is especially useful for those of us who are shy. We have time to think about how we want to say things about ourselves and can avoid being tongue tied. Even those who are more extroverted can take time to reflect on who they really are before writing their online profile.
Online dating is certainly a time saver. You can meet so many more men in a lot less time than you ever could out in the real world.
Be completely real. Women have a way of recognizing a phony guy. Therefore, it is important to always be yourself instead of trying to impress a woman by being something that you are not. Even if they fall for it in the beginning they will figure you out in time.
Keep her guessing. Women like a challenge as much as men. Therefore, it’s not necessary to work hard to show her just how much you like her. Let the relationship bloom over time and just enjoy the trip! Don’t be secretive or avoid her questions however, when she shows interest in your life by asking questions it is important to give her the answer.
If you say you’re going to call, call. This is a common mistake that many men make. If you tell a woman that you are going to call at seven p.m., they will be waiting for your call. Making them wait, or never calling, is rude and most women will become quickly uninterested in a man who doesn’t follow through
Be emotionally prepared. Many men forget that even the first date could be the start of a long term relationship if things go well. Prepare yourself mentally for the idea that the first, second or later date could be the night where you fall in love. Being unprepared can leave you less open to the woman that you are dating and give her the impression that you’re either not interested or just not ready.
Be a good listener. When your date is talking, she may be giving you clues about herself that could help you win your way into her heart. If you spend all of your time talking or simply pretending you are listening to her, then you are likely to miss out on something important. Also, keep eye contact when she is talking so that she can see that you are genuinely interested in what she has to say.
Look good for every date. Unless you have agreed in advance to dress casually, it is important to spend time to look good for dates. Every woman spends hours preparing for every day, so return the favor. While you may not spend hours getting ready, you should be particular about what you wear and whether you are properly groomed. A neat appearance reflects on you more than you might realize. It makes you appear more confident, organized and responsible.
OK…the time has come. You have joined an online dating service or two. Now you must write that all-important profile… the one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams… but where to start? Maybe writing isn’t even something you think you do all that well. Even so, you can do this.
The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will like…maybe someday love…YOU….THE REAL YOU! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you won’t like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.
Accent the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don’t want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.
Describe the things that are vital in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.
Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the FIRST thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.
Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date….a friend of a friend of a friend. You, foolishly, accept. Now there you are. It’s less than one hour since you were introduced. You are sitting in a Thai restaurant and you hate Thai food. The entrée has not yet been served. His idea of enlightened conversation is who will be in the final four…you aren’t into sports. He knows the weekly TV schedule verbatim….you haven’t sat through a movie in months because you run marathons and volunteer at the local food bank. He says, “Volunteering is a waste of time because you can’t help ‘those people’ anyway.” You look at your watch; see that it’s only been 10 minutes since you last looked at it the last time and wonder how long it is before you can gracefully remove yourself from the situation. Been there?
Now imagine a date with someone you met through internet dating and have been chatting online with and exchanging emails with for quite some time. First, you don’t need to be introduced. You already know this man. You are sitting in an Italian restaurant enjoying a delightful meal because you both know that the other’s favorite is Italian. The conversation flows easily as you discuss common interests. He runs marathons and loves history just like you do. You happily discuss the volunteer work that each of you is involved in. You look at your watch and discover that it is late…very late…where Has the time gone.
There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend “setting you up” and choosing a man for yourself who shares your interests and tastes, isn’t there? Now which one would you rather have?