singlemates.net
What is a “soulmate”?
Let me distinguish three types of relationships. The first type of relationship is a karmic relationship. Karmic relationship is that you learn lessons together but these lessons are kind of individually given to you. You have certain elements in your life that you need to learn. Your partner has certain elements, certain situations to overcome in his or her life. Karmic relationship is that you have a share of minds, your minds are alike, you both love certain movies, and you both love certain food. That’s not a soulmate. That’s a karmic relationship, 95% of the relationships are this way. Now, the soulmate is more energetically dominated, energy-wise dominated. You have the same frequency, the same vibration as the other person. If you have the same vibration that is innate in your system, in your being you will recognize that. However, you cannot consciously recognize it, but it does feel like that you have met somebody and feel that you have known this person for ages. It’s like an instant comfort level. The lessons to be learned in the areas of the different chakras are similar. That’s a share of soul, or share of energy which is so profound that it overrides the share of minds.
What are some common misconceptions about soul mates?
Well the first misconception is that the soul mate is the ideal person. A soul mate, you know, if you vibrate the same frequency in the different chakras, you know, and it depends on how many. . .you have seven, so take three out of seven. You feel that instant connection. It’s more than a contact. It’s a connection. You have something really, really, really deeply in common and you cannot easily get your head around it consciously. Now, the interesting thing is that you think that that’s great and easy, but there’s also share of minds. And we tend nowadays to look for the similarities of opinions and choices and judgments and then feel that we are connected with each other. With soul mates, it might be another way around. I can be your soul mate and objectively we are a perfect match, but in the mind area, we can have different opinions and complete differences about the view of life or something or a vacation or food or movies or whatever you find out. People tend to focus on the mind stuff. So they’ve found their soul mate and all of a sudden, it’s not the person that is so in tune with what they think about life. Therefore, it’s more difficult than a karmic relationship.
Getting A Date: Personal Transformation And Relationships
What is the secret to attracting a soulmate?
First of all the secret to attracting a soulmate is knowing the mind is how you think about yourself, how you think about a soulmate and how you feel about attracting somebody in your life. How you tell others things and how you speak. Do you speak proactively or do you speak in a destructive kind of way like “I always run into the bad relationships” for instance. That’s a destructive way of talking to yourself and if you behave in a certain way, if you are in situations or surroundings where you have shifted the conditions to to attract somebody into your life, that’s another part. That’s the physical part of it. That’s two adults in alignment. People think that they will find their soul mate in a bar. No. Absolutely not. That is not the secret to attracting a soulmate. In order to find a soulmate, you need to put the intention out there and be convinced that that person exists. And when you really feel, think, speak and act accordingly, then you will attract the person into your life that suits you the best.
There are many people who feel that e-mail will never have the warmth or the personal touch of the old fashioned letters and cards that people used to send through the postal service. That may be true but e-mail has an advantage of the here and the now.
Because you are aware of the fact that the person you are chatting is reaching out to you in the same way as you are reaching out to that person, there is a tendency for an intimacy to build up even before you know it.
The medium ceases to be the deciding factor and when a person presses you for information which you have to supply immediately you might let certain details slip out unless you are well prepared.
You have to be on your guard all the time and keep constantly reminding your self that the person you are chatting with is, after all a stranger and a goodness-knows-what. The best thing that you could do is avoid instant intimacy altogether.
It doesn’t really matter if the other person finds you cold or reserved, you can easily solve that by telling the other person that it takes sometime for you to become comfortable with a person. That in fact is a good quality because it is as good as saying, “Well, I’m sorry I’m not the loose kind who plays around.”
There is something that many of my readers might want to know and that is how to find out if the other person is lying. As I had told you earlier, the Net can be a very unsafe place and so we have to be absolutely sure about the good faith of the other person before revealing any personal details about ourselves. So the next part has been devoted specifically for that.
4 Ways To Tell If Someone Is Lying
1.As discussed earlier, we are not going to resort to singles’ chat rooms dedicated specifically to online dating. Instead we will be in chat rooms of specific interest. So one very effective way of finding out if a person is lying would be to ask the person very pointed questions about the area of interest. If the person fumbles or gives vague answers then you do not have to waste your time on such a person.
2.Another thing that you could do is that from the moment you first make contact, jot down whatever details the person chooses to reveal to you and in subsequent encounters nonchalantly question the person about the details, if there is a contradiction in the two details then you can be as sure as pat that the person is lying.
3.Ask the person seemingly general questions but which in fact should have a very definite purpose, for example ask the person what he or she is looking for in such a relationship. Note down the answer. After two or three encounters again repeat the question and see whether the two answers match.
4.You could try pretending that you have chatted with the person before and innocently ask the person if he or she is such and such person (make something up) and try offering compliments to the person like, “I really enjoyed chatting with you the other day. You were perfectly charming…” and so on. If the person falls for cheap flattery like this, then obviously he or she makes it a hobby to chat with people under various identities.
And so the chatting goes on until the person really grows on you. When you feel that you can really trust the person, you may try giving the person your telephone number. Remember that this too is a giant leap towards building a relationship so it’s better that you be sure than sorry.
The safest thing you can do about telephone numbers is to mutually exchange it preferably at the same time, so that neither party is at a disadvantage. It’s really no big deal, you can afford to tell the person that you are just being wary, the person will understand. If he or she does not, then there is a good chance that he or she will not understand a lot of other things as well. In that case, dump the person.
When it comes to putting the moves on someone, no one can make themselves rejection-proof. But you can increase the odds of a good outcome.
You Will Need
* Eye contact
* A warm smile
* Cheese
* Circumspection
* Dignity
Step 1: Look for cues
Before approaching someone, try to catch their eye. If they hold your gaze for a moment and then fiddle with their appearance — like straighten their shoulders or touch their hair — chances are they’re interested.
Step 2: Lock eyes
If you’ve managed to engage your crush in a conversation, maintain eye contact. It’s called the “anchoring gaze” and it fosters feelings of intimacy.
Step 3: Order some cheese
If there’s any way to work a cheese platter into the evening, do so. Cheese is chock full of the chemical phenylethylamine, an aphrodisiac.
Step 4: Don’t overshare
Don’t provide too much information upfront. Ex-lovers, copious numbers of pets, prison stints, and radical weight loss procedures are best left for another time.
Step 5: Beat ‘em to the punch
If it becomes obvious that the person you’re chatting up is not interested in you — their eyes are wandering; they’re grunting one-word responses; they’re not smiling — say, “It was nice meeting you,” and move on.
When on the dating scene, you meet several people you like; anyone of them could be ‘the one’ for you but you cannot find out unless you converse with them. Starting a conversation with a stranger could be difficult but not impossible. When you are conversing with a new date, there are certain pointers that can make sure you plan your second date before parting. Read on!
Introduction and the first contact
This is your initial contact with a potential date or your first evening out with a blind date; think of it as an opportunity to not show your handsome conversation skills but making the date feel comfortable. Some ideas to get the conversation flowing are:
• The safest topic to talk is something from our immediate surroundings. If you are waiting in a long queue to a movie, comment on it; you could comment on the sudden change of weather. Anything that focuses on an item and removes any awkwardness with a personal comment will help.
• If tongue-tied or you cannot think of anything interesting to say, simply flash a genuine and caring smile. Nothing can do more wonders and speak louder than a heart warming smile; you may not have to worry about starting the conversation after that!
• Admiring your date’s sense of clothing, the bag or cell phone they are carrying or the scrumptious salad they have ordered is a good ice-breaker as well.
Topics to discuss as conversation follow up
Now that you have said your hellos, flashed that smile and most probably paid a genuine compliment, what next? Think up of some current topics or a piece of interesting or better still humorous story to relate. You do not have to spend hours or days thinking about these, just any current event topics that interest you or something on news could be helpful.
It is always interesting to discuss the last movie you watched. Though be careful of getting into the details of a gory movie without first confirming your date actually likes them too! It can be fun as you begin to share likes and dislikes and gain common grounds.
Once the interest of the date is gauged, you can easily continue the conversation flow. By now, if your date is not responding well or is replying in monotones, you probably do not have common ground! To make for fruitful conversation, clue in to what your date has to say and ask questions and respond on the subject. Relate your experiences and stories in a capsule format and wait for questions or turn the tables and ask “what do you think about…?”
A graceful end
A conversation especially with somebody you are beginning to like and find common interests with can go on forever. Leave on a note with your date wanting more without smothering them with too much information.
Thank your interesting date for their time and let them know you have to leave and would love to continue the conversation another time. This is the time to fix your next date or share contact details to fix one up later. Look back at them while leaving and Flash a smile as a sign of acknowledging the new relationship and make them feel special!
Things a little quiet on the dating front? Maybe you’re looking for love with all the wrong adverbs. Take a little time to soup up your profile and those dates will start a’rolling in.
You Will Need
* Time to think
* A little creativity
* A good picture of yourself
Step 1: Choose username
Choose a username that references a film, song, or movie star. One survey found that they get the most hits. The biggest turnoff? Usernames that brag about body parts.
Step 2: Use clever headline
Come up with a clever headline. “Real Life Romeo Ready to Woo-Woo His Juliet” is more eye-catching than “Relationship Wanted.”
Step 3: Choose hobbies
Carefully choose which hobbies to include in your profile—and which to leave out.
Step 4: List desirable professions
If you’re a guy and a doctor, lawyer, soldier, or firefighter, say so—women find those professions very “desirable.”
Tip: If you’re a woman, don’t be afraid to mention that you’re still in school—whether it’s for cosmology or cosmetology—men like “students.”
Step 5: Fudge a little
Fudge a little. Men who admit they’re just looking for a casual relationship get far fewer responses, while women who claim the same thing actually get more. We’re just saying.
Step 6: Describe body if nice
If can get away with it, describe yourself as “chiseled” or “toned”—research shows you’ll get more responses than if you use the words “stocky” or “voluptuous.”
Tip : Take physical descriptions with a grain of salt. Studies show that most men lie about their height, and most women lie about their weight.
Step 7: State salary if large
Guys, if you make a lot of money, say so. It can make up for a lot of shortcomings, if you catch our drift.
Step 8: Be creative with likes & dislikes
Be specific and creative about your likes and dislikes. Who doesn’t love traveling and going to restaurants?
Step 9: Choose a flattering photo
Last but not least, choose a flattering photo of yourself to accompany your profile. But make sure it’s current; dated photographs are dishonest, and dishonesty is an automatic turnoff.
Fact
One survey found that 30% of people registered with online dating sites were already married!
Those born under the Taurus sign need to be handled with kid gloves.
You Will Need
* A loyal nature
* A strong sense of self
* A healthy respect for money
Step 1: Look good
If you want to attract a Taurus, take pains to look good. When it comes to dating, Tauruses are choosy, and physical attraction is particularly important to them.
Step 2: Wine and dine them
Wine and dine them. Tauruses love the sensual pleasures of good food and drink.
Tip: Taurus women love a good restaurant, while Taurus men appreciate a home-cooked meal.
Step 3: Don’t overspend
Don’t overspend, either on yourself or on them. Tauruses are careful with their money, and expect a potential life partner to be a sensible spender, too.
Step 4: Be circumspect
When it comes to the opposite sex, be circumspect around a Taurus lover; they are extremely possessive, and prone to jealous fits.
TIP: If you cheat on a Taurus, be aware that they will likely never forgive you. They may even seek revenge!
Step 5: Kiss their throat and neck
To turn on a Taurus, kiss their throat and neck, which are Tauruses’ erogenous zones.
Step 6: Be loyal
Be loyal to a Taurus, and they will be devoted to you. You might even inspire them to spend some of their hard-earned cash on a pricey present for you!
Aquariuses have high standards, but anyone with the right drive can meet them.
You Will Need
* Creativity
* Knowledge of art and music
* Good social skills
Step 1: Plan a memorable first date
Plan a memorable first date. Aquariuses don’t like the burden of making plans themselves, so they’ll be impressed with a person who comes up with a creative date idea, especially if it’s something that appeals to their intellect.
TIP: Aquariuses are interested in the arts, so planning a date around the debut of a promising new artist or a night of experimental theater is a good start.
Step 2: Lean to the left
Lean to the left. Aquariuses are humanitarians who feel great compassion for the less fortunate.
Step 3: Keep up with current events
Keep up with current events. If you know who Britney Spears is, but can’t name the current President of France, you don’t stand a chance with an Aquarius.
Step 4: Join a book club
Join a book club and familiarize yourself with the _New York Times_’ bestseller list. Aquariuses pride themselves on being well-read.
Step 5: Treat with respect
Always treat an Aquarius with respect; they want to be valued for their mind (though they also expect lavish appreciation of their body).
Step 6: Allow them privacy
Allow them their space and privacy. It’s the only way to one day be invited to join their club.
The trick to winning a Gemini’s heart is to be the yin to their yang.
You Will Need
* Good conversation skills
* Intelligence
* Liberal political views
Step 1: Be coy
Be coy when you first meet a Gemini you like. They enjoy a little mystery, and become bored by those they can win over too easily.
Step 2: Invite them on a mystery date
Geminis love to be surprised, so tell them that all they need to know about the date is what to wear, and you’ll take care of the rest.
Tip : Geminis tend to be brainiacs, so you can’t go wrong with a date that appeals to the intellect, like a lecture, a book reading, or a political rally.
Step 3: Sharpen your conversational skills
Sharpen your conversational skills by boning up on current events for your date; Geminis are curious and articulate.
Step 4: Ask their opinion
Ask for their opinions. The only thing Geminis love more than hearing themselves talk is spouting opinions and giving advice.
Step 5: Be tolerant
Be tolerant – of both your Gemini love interest and others. Geminis lean toward the left and won’t tolerate narrow-mindedness in a lover.
Step 6: Stay flexible
Stay flexible. Geminis are free spirits who chafe under restrictions and schedules. Don’t freak if they’re late, or it will be the last time they’ll agree to meet you at all.
Fact : Famous Geminis include Angelina Jolie, Kanye West, Johnny Depp, and John F. Kennedy. And the guy who sings “Chocolate Rain.”
Like the crab that symbolizes them, Cancers can be a little soft-shelled at times, so woo these sensitive souls cautiously.
You Will Need
* Romance
* Sensitivity
* The time and ability to pet, pamper, and coddle
Step 1: Woo them
Woo them. Cancers don’t just want to be asked out—they want to be won over. So a surefire way to win a date is to do something nice for him at the same time you introduce the idea of dinner with you at a romantic little bistro.
TIP: Watch your mouth around a Cancer; they embarrass easily, and will never forgive you if they feel they have been mocked.
Step 2: Be complimentary
Be complimentary, especially of a Cancer’s home. Domesticity is very important to Cancers, who take great pains in feathering their nests.
Step 3: Be a good listener
Be prepared to be a good listener if you want to be with a Cancer; they are born storytellers and love an audience.
Step 4: Take things slowly
Take things slowly, especially when it comes to sex. Cancers need to feel cherished before they will allow themselves to be vulnerable.
Step 5: Do make a fuss
Always be ready to make a fuss over them – their clothes, their hair, their cooking, their sexual prowess. Cancers tend to be overly sensitive and need lots of reassurance.
Step 6: Let them cling a little
Be cool with their tendency to cling. Cancers can at times be smothering, but that’s the trade-off for their devotion, which knows no bounds.