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When on the dating scene, you meet several people you like; anyone of them could be ‘the one’ for you but you cannot find out unless you converse with them. Starting a conversation with a stranger could be difficult but not impossible. When you are conversing with a new date, there are certain pointers that can make sure you plan your second date before parting. Read on!
Introduction and the first contact
This is your initial contact with a potential date or your first evening out with a blind date; think of it as an opportunity to not show your handsome conversation skills but making the date feel comfortable. Some ideas to get the conversation flowing are:
• The safest topic to talk is something from our immediate surroundings. If you are waiting in a long queue to a movie, comment on it; you could comment on the sudden change of weather. Anything that focuses on an item and removes any awkwardness with a personal comment will help.
• If tongue-tied or you cannot think of anything interesting to say, simply flash a genuine and caring smile. Nothing can do more wonders and speak louder than a heart warming smile; you may not have to worry about starting the conversation after that!
• Admiring your date’s sense of clothing, the bag or cell phone they are carrying or the scrumptious salad they have ordered is a good ice-breaker as well.
Topics to discuss as conversation follow up
Now that you have said your hellos, flashed that smile and most probably paid a genuine compliment, what next? Think up of some current topics or a piece of interesting or better still humorous story to relate. You do not have to spend hours or days thinking about these, just any current event topics that interest you or something on news could be helpful.
It is always interesting to discuss the last movie you watched. Though be careful of getting into the details of a gory movie without first confirming your date actually likes them too! It can be fun as you begin to share likes and dislikes and gain common grounds.
Once the interest of the date is gauged, you can easily continue the conversation flow. By now, if your date is not responding well or is replying in monotones, you probably do not have common ground! To make for fruitful conversation, clue in to what your date has to say and ask questions and respond on the subject. Relate your experiences and stories in a capsule format and wait for questions or turn the tables and ask “what do you think about…?”
A graceful end
A conversation especially with somebody you are beginning to like and find common interests with can go on forever. Leave on a note with your date wanting more without smothering them with too much information.
Thank your interesting date for their time and let them know you have to leave and would love to continue the conversation another time. This is the time to fix your next date or share contact details to fix one up later. Look back at them while leaving and Flash a smile as a sign of acknowledging the new relationship and make them feel special!
Blind dating is a common way for dating also. It often occurs when someone is set up on a date through a
friend or a third party.
People are often set up on a blind date through a friend or a co-worker who knows both parties and believes they would make a great couple. If you are recommended to go on a blind date by a friend who knows you well, you might want to consider it.
If your friend knows the other person as well as they know you, they might be right about the two of you
connecting and getting along well together. When you go on a blind date you might not have any
idea what the other person looks like or you might have been shown a picture.
In all cases, the person you will be going out with will be someone you have never met or spoke to before. It is common to be nervous about going on a blind date because you don’t know if the person will like you and
you don’t know if you will like the other person.Some people really enjoy being set up on a blind date and many blind dates turn into successful relationships if the right people set the two of you up.
You should try to know as much information that you can about the person before you go and be sure your
friend knows the other person well before you go to be sure the date will not be a disaster.However, even if the two of you decide that you are not a compatible couple you might meet someone who becomes a very good friend of yours in the long run.
Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date….a friend of a friend of a friend. You, foolishly, accept. Now there you are. It’s less than one hour since you were introduced. You are sitting in a Thai restaurant and you hate Thai food. The entrée has not yet been served. His idea of enlightened conversation is who will be in the final four…you aren’t into sports. He knows the weekly TV schedule verbatim….you haven’t sat through a movie in months because you run marathons and volunteer at the local food bank. He says, “Volunteering is a waste of time because you can’t help ‘those people’ anyway.” You look at your watch; see that it’s only been 10 minutes since you last looked at it the last time and wonder how long it is before you can gracefully remove yourself from the situation. Been there?
Now imagine a date with someone you met through internet dating and have been chatting online with and exchanging emails with for quite some time. First, you don’t need to be introduced. You already know this man. You are sitting in an Italian restaurant enjoying a delightful meal because you both know that the other’s favorite is Italian. The conversation flows easily as you discuss common interests. He runs marathons and loves history just like you do. You happily discuss the volunteer work that each of you is involved in. You look at your watch and discover that it is late…very late…where Has the time gone.
There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend “setting you up” and choosing a man for yourself who shares your interests and tastes, isn’t there? Now which one would you rather have?
There are many reasons to consider online dating. Has a friend ever dragged you out on a blind date? The person may have been so boring that you felt you had wasted your evening. To make it worse he/she wanted to see you again! It was soo embarrassing trying to say no without hurting or offending. That need not happen again. Start out getting to know someone through an online dating service. You will be able to find out a bit about the person by reading their profile. Not only that, but when you join up, you’ll have to fill out the answers to some questions about your preferences, so you’ll be more likely to get a ‘match’ who suits you.
Another reason to consider online dating is that many people are kept really busy by their jobs these days. With company cost-cutting going on, employees are expected to work longer hours, which gives them less time and energy to spend looking for a date in the real world. You don’t have to spend all that extra time dressing up either. Not unless you decide you like that person enough to date them in real time. Online dating will give you the chance to meet a greater variety of people too. When you only have x amount of time, you cannot be expected to meet a great many and variety of people.
For shy people, online dating will give them confidence to present themselves in the best possible manner without worrying about the myriad of things a shy person worries about. You don’t have to worry about how well you are keeping up your end of the conversation, because there is time to think about what you write in an email. You won’t have to worry about how you look, or whether you just cracked a very bad joke through sheer nervousness.
Another consideration for online dating is the expense. Though some dating services require a paid subscription, it will not usually work out as expensive as a night on the town. Meals, drinks, taxis, and entertainment all cost money, so if yours is in rather short supply, you don’t need to worry. It won’t be so likely to end up wasted on someone that you don’t like. There are also free online dating websites that you can use, though these may not have the same personal safeguards as the paid ones. If you are careful and follow all that they advise, you can still have the chance to meet a safe and successful online date.