singlemates.net
It can be a jungle in the online dating world, so once you are in it, it will pay to know how to survive and have fun. Here are five important things you should know.
1. A woman likes to be called by the online name she uses. You might think it sounds cool to call her Babe, Sexy or any number of other titles, but this will turn her off you quicker than a bucket of iced water. A woman likes to think you will respect her, so if you start by not respecting her enough to use her name, you won’t get past the first email. Be polite and respectful, but not stiff and formal. You can be polite and easygoing too.
2. Likewise, sexual innuendo is definitely not cool. You risk being banned by the site if you persist in this sort of email. Not to mention losing the interest of that person you thought you’d like to get to know. Not every woman is obsessed with sex, as much as most men like to think otherwise. Into sexual aggression? Forget it. Women want respect, not caveman stuff. Harassment? It’s not worth the bother. Find someone who is willing to date you; don’t go after someone who does not like the sound of your profile. You can’t please everyone. It’s not the end of the world if your date wants to end it.
3. Answer questions, but ask some yourself. This is what she calls ‘communicating’. Read her profile properly and use it to ask questions aimed at finding out more about her. If she likes to travel, ask about the places she has been to. If she has a hobby or a sport, then ask about them. Be really interested in her life, not just her looks. If you know little about one of her interests, try to find out about it so you can converse with intelligence.
4. Watch out for those man-eaters. There are some out there. If a woman asks you for money, do not come to the party no matter how desperate she sounds. Some women may only want you for your money, so it’s a good idea not to brag about how much you’ve got – at least not until you get to know her a bit better. In fact, don’t brag about anything; not sporting achievements, money, or other relationships.
5. Be honest. If you end up meeting this person and you’ve been less than honest with your photo or anything else about yourself, it will be sure to come back to haunt you and may spoil what could have been a beautiful relationship.
Once you have met what seems to be your ideal person through an online dating website, it may be that it does not work out after all and that you break up for some reason out of your control. Or maybe you were the one forced to do the breaking up due to the fact that you could see things weren’t really going to work out. So how do you cope with the disappointment that you will no doubt feel? Here are some points that may help.
* First of all you must make the break cleanly and properly. Tell them why you are breaking up and be sure to stick to that. If you only half convince them, they could harass you and cause more strife.
* Make sure you do not contact them again. Make the break clean and keep it that way.
* Give yourself a little time to grieve, but don’t become awash in self pity. You’ll lose all your other friends if you do.
* Take up a new hobby or interest. It may be that painting or a new sport will be very therapeutic for you.
* Don’t immediately start looking for a new date. You must wait until you are truly ‘over it’ before doing that.
* Don’t try and get the relationship back onto a ‘just friends’ footing if it has been a romance. This will never work.
* Spend more time with all your own friends. Remember those friends you had before you started dating? Get back in the swing of going out with them. Call them up and suggest an outing.
* Don’t complain to your friends about how bad your date was. Put it all out of your mind and concentrate on the present moment.
* Keep away from the drinks/drugs scene. It will only cause more depression.
* Realize that your self-worth is not dependent on one person.
* Don’t rely on any relationship to ‘make you happy’. You need to be a happy person to start with before you can have a happy relationship.
* Think about what went wrong in your relationship. Were you too clingy? Too bossy? If so, work on toning down these attributes. Your friends may be able to tell you what sort of person you are if you can’t see yourself clearly.
* Learn to make and keep boundaries right from the start of a relationship.
* Don’t feel that no one will ever love you just because of one failed relationship.
Remember most people usually have more than one relationship or romance in their lives. You are not the first to be disappointed in love and you won’t be the last. It’s just a part of life and the quicker you get over it and get on with the rest of your life, the better you will be – and the more likely you will be to find that one true love.
The online dating world can sometimes seem like a jungle of time wasters and fakes. If you want to pick up women online and meet them for real dates that can lead to physical action, there are some important things you need to know.
1. Call her by her name.
Use her real first name if you know it, or her online nickname if you don’t. Some men think they are being affectionate or cool by calling girls Babe or Honey right away, but most girls hate for anyone but a regular boyfriend to give them cute names like that. Being called Babe by some guy they didn’t even meet yet will turn them off him, and maybe even make them angry.
Using her own name (or the name that she gives) is both polite and respectful. It’s great to be friendly but not over familiar. If you don’t even respect her enough to use her name, you probably won’t get a reply to your message.
2. Don’t use sexual hints or remarks about her body.
Any kind of sexual innuendo before you have built up some kind of relationship is not a great idea. You risk having the recipient block your messages and possibly report you to the site administration. Comments about almost any body part except her eyes will make many women uncomfortable.
If you enjoy making these kinds of comments and want a situation where it is allowed and even encouraged, look for an adult dating site. But be aware that the women on those sites will often expect to be paid for a meeting, if they will agree to meet you at all. If you are looking for a real date, it is better to play nice as a member of a regular online dating site.
3. Be honest in your profile.
The basic rule with profiles is – you can leave things out, but don’t lie. If necessary, ignore questions or say that you prefer not to answer until you know her better. If you lie about anything it is likely to be found out at some time. She may not care that you earn half as much as you told her, but she will hate that you lied to her.
What you want is someone who wants you – right? So if you tell a lot of lies to attract someone who will then be disappointed when she meets you, it has just been a big waste of time.
4. Use a recent picture.
For the same reason, mke sure that your photo is a recent one that really looks like you. On most sites you can post several photos, so if you want to show off your body, for example, you can have one beach shot and another where your face is more clearly seen. In fact, it is a great idea to post several pictures of yourself in different situations. Don’t forget to smile!
If you have a good reason for not wanting to post a face shot publicly, then find a way that you can send it along with your messages to anyone that you contact. She should not have to ask you for this.
5. Ask the right questions.
You will find that women ask you questions about yourself in their messages. A lot of men just answer them and end the message. But communication as women understand it, involves reciprocation – asking questions in return. If you ask her some questions about her life and her interests, that is the equivalent of listening to her in real life. She will love it.
Use these questions to find out more about her but be careful that you are not asking for personally identifiable information because this could scare her. For example, it’s great to ask if she enjoys her job, but not which company she works for.
This is hard for many guys who tend to focus on facts. Their natural tendency is to ask very factual questions. Learn instead to focus on her experiences and feelings, and you will have no trouble picking up women online.