Once you have met what seems to be your ideal person through an online dating website, it may be that it does not work out after all and that you break up for some reason out of your control. Or maybe you were the one forced to do the breaking up due to the fact that you could see things weren’t really going to work out. So how do you cope with the disappointment that you will no doubt feel? Here are some points that may help.

* First of all you must make the break cleanly and properly. Tell them why you are breaking up and be sure to stick to that. If you only half convince them, they could harass you and cause more strife.
* Make sure you do not contact them again. Make the break clean and keep it that way.
* Give yourself a little time to grieve, but don’t become awash in self pity. You’ll lose all your other friends if you do.
* Take up a new hobby or interest. It may be that painting or a new sport will be very therapeutic for you.
* Don’t immediately start looking for a new date. You must wait until you are truly ‘over it’ before doing that.
* Don’t try and get the relationship back onto a ‘just friends’ footing if it has been a romance. This will never work.
* Spend more time with all your own friends. Remember those friends you had before you started dating? Get back in the swing of going out with them. Call them up and suggest an outing.
* Don’t complain to your friends about how bad your date was. Put it all out of your mind and concentrate on the present moment.
* Keep away from the drinks/drugs scene. It will only cause more depression.
* Realize that your self-worth is not dependent on one person.
* Don’t rely on any relationship to ‘make you happy’. You need to be a happy person to start with before you can have a happy relationship.
* Think about what went wrong in your relationship. Were you too clingy? Too bossy? If so, work on toning down these attributes. Your friends may be able to tell you what sort of person you are if you can’t see yourself clearly.
* Learn to make and keep boundaries right from the start of a relationship.
* Don’t feel that no one will ever love you just because of one failed relationship.

Remember most people usually have more than one relationship or romance in their lives. You are not the first to be disappointed in love and you won’t be the last. It’s just a part of life and the quicker you get over it and get on with the rest of your life, the better you will be – and the more likely you will be to find that one true love.

• 0 Comments

Online dating is not a competition between competing males for the attention of a female.  Grow up.  Change your mind set from “winning” to “searching”.  This isn’t high school.  You are all grown up and have been for quite some time, now.  Your attitude is the most important asset you have.  You should like yourself and not concentrate of all of the things that aren’t YOUR idea of the perfect guy…the one the all women want.

What is that women want, you ask?  That’s the age old question.  Being of the female persuasion myself, I can tell you a few things women want and don’t want.

Women want a man to be confident…NOT an arrogant jerk.  There’s a big difference.  You need to like yourself and not be self depreciating but you don’t need to come across like you believe that you are a gift to them from God and have just fallen from the sky.  They don’t want you to think that THEY just fell from heaven and are some kind of perfect being, either.  They can’t live up to that expectation.

Women want a communicator. The “strong silent type” really isn’t appealing at all.   They think you probably don’t have an original thought in your head and you probably haven’t heard a word they said, either or that you just don’t care what they said or didn’t even hear what they said.  They want you to be interesting enough to want to know more about you and they want you to think that they are interesting enough to ask intelligent questions about what is important to them, too.

Women do NOT want to be a prize to be won.  They don’t want to be a trophy. They want to be the ONE woman that you want to be with.

• 0 Comments