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Host Andrea Syrtash shares helpful tips to allow you to create profiles that will stand out — from picking the picture, to building a great your profile.
The sooner you realize this sad but true fact, the sooner you can get on with finding Mr. Close-Enough-To-Perfect. Prince Charming, riding on a white stallion, lost his way or found Princess Charming and got married on his way to your castle. Get over it and get on with it. You ARE going to have to actively seek the man of your dreams and you won’t find him hiding under your bed. You already know that he isn’t among the men that you are acquainted with so, now what? Online dating is “what”.
It’s true that online dating, while in its infancy, was only made up of perverts, sexual predators, nerds and weirdoes but that is no longer true. It has become the main tool of the single person in every developed country in the world. Forty million people can’t all be wrong. Ask your girl friends if they have ever used online dating or are using it now. If they are honest with you, most of them have or are now members of at least one online dating site and maybe more than one. It really is the way to go to meet eligible men who want to meet you. It doesn’t matter what any of your numbers are…like age, height, weight or income either. Somewhere out there in the big wide world there is a man who will like you…..then love you….and think that you are beautiful and desirable. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is true. What is considered beautiful in one part of the world is completely different from what is considered beautiful in another part of the world. It’s even different from one part of this country to another.
Find an online dating site that fits your needs. Write a great profile and post a flattering picture. Start contacting eligible men on the site. Mr. Close-enough-to-perfect could be a few mouse clicks away.
Knowing how to attract women is one of the most important pieces of wisdom that a man can have. It is tricky because different women look for different things in a man, and you cannot be sure of getting the woman that you want. Even men who are most successful with women may not always attract one particular woman. But they attract enough others that they can just shrug off anyone who is not interested, and look for the next.
If you go right up to a woman and ask her for a date with no introduction, it is likely that she will say no, and may even think you pushy and be scared. Although women are attracted to men by looks, scent, etc they need time to feel comfortable with a man before they will accept a date. There are some scary men in the world and most women will not take chances on someone they do not feel they know.
The good news is that you can get them to feel they know you with just a couple of minutes of conversation. During this time you need to be confident without being pushy. Be clear in your mind about who you are, and that you are not desperate for a date.
It is important to listen to what the woman wants to say, and to make her feel special. You can do this easily with a compliment that is particular to her. Before you approach her, take a moment to notice something special about her that you can compliment her on. Your compliment must be honest – something that you really like about her.
Your compliment should never be related to anything that women tend to be sensitive about, for example body size, weight or shape. Of course it should not be sexually related either, because that would make her feel uncomfortable at this stage.
For most women it is fine to compliment her on her eyes or her smile. If she is very pretty, she probably gets a lot of compliments like this and you need to be more original. Try complimenting her hands or her voice.
After that you can use what psychologists call ‘the constraint of choice’ to make sure that her only option is you. When a person is given only one option, they are more likely to take it. So for example, if you ask for her phone number, she has the choice of either giving it to you, or not. That’s two options and one of them is not your desired outcome.
Instead, give her the choice of either giving you her phone number or arranging a date now. Now she feels she has a choice, but she really only has one option – you. She is much more likely to give you her number this way.
As you become more used to doing this you will succeed with more women and that in itself will boost your confidence and get you more dates. That’s partly why older men tend to be more successful with women. Learning how to attract women is a skill that needs to be practiced.
When it comes to putting the moves on someone, no one can make themselves rejection-proof. But you can increase the odds of a good outcome.
You Will Need
* Eye contact
* A warm smile
* Cheese
* Circumspection
* Dignity
Step 1: Look for cues
Before approaching someone, try to catch their eye. If they hold your gaze for a moment and then fiddle with their appearance — like straighten their shoulders or touch their hair — chances are they’re interested.
Step 2: Lock eyes
If you’ve managed to engage your crush in a conversation, maintain eye contact. It’s called the “anchoring gaze” and it fosters feelings of intimacy.
Step 3: Order some cheese
If there’s any way to work a cheese platter into the evening, do so. Cheese is chock full of the chemical phenylethylamine, an aphrodisiac.
Step 4: Don’t overshare
Don’t provide too much information upfront. Ex-lovers, copious numbers of pets, prison stints, and radical weight loss procedures are best left for another time.
Step 5: Beat ‘em to the punch
If it becomes obvious that the person you’re chatting up is not interested in you — their eyes are wandering; they’re grunting one-word responses; they’re not smiling — say, “It was nice meeting you,” and move on.
When on the dating scene, you meet several people you like; anyone of them could be ‘the one’ for you but you cannot find out unless you converse with them. Starting a conversation with a stranger could be difficult but not impossible. When you are conversing with a new date, there are certain pointers that can make sure you plan your second date before parting. Read on!
Introduction and the first contact
This is your initial contact with a potential date or your first evening out with a blind date; think of it as an opportunity to not show your handsome conversation skills but making the date feel comfortable. Some ideas to get the conversation flowing are:
• The safest topic to talk is something from our immediate surroundings. If you are waiting in a long queue to a movie, comment on it; you could comment on the sudden change of weather. Anything that focuses on an item and removes any awkwardness with a personal comment will help.
• If tongue-tied or you cannot think of anything interesting to say, simply flash a genuine and caring smile. Nothing can do more wonders and speak louder than a heart warming smile; you may not have to worry about starting the conversation after that!
• Admiring your date’s sense of clothing, the bag or cell phone they are carrying or the scrumptious salad they have ordered is a good ice-breaker as well.
Topics to discuss as conversation follow up
Now that you have said your hellos, flashed that smile and most probably paid a genuine compliment, what next? Think up of some current topics or a piece of interesting or better still humorous story to relate. You do not have to spend hours or days thinking about these, just any current event topics that interest you or something on news could be helpful.
It is always interesting to discuss the last movie you watched. Though be careful of getting into the details of a gory movie without first confirming your date actually likes them too! It can be fun as you begin to share likes and dislikes and gain common grounds.
Once the interest of the date is gauged, you can easily continue the conversation flow. By now, if your date is not responding well or is replying in monotones, you probably do not have common ground! To make for fruitful conversation, clue in to what your date has to say and ask questions and respond on the subject. Relate your experiences and stories in a capsule format and wait for questions or turn the tables and ask “what do you think about…?”
A graceful end
A conversation especially with somebody you are beginning to like and find common interests with can go on forever. Leave on a note with your date wanting more without smothering them with too much information.
Thank your interesting date for their time and let them know you have to leave and would love to continue the conversation another time. This is the time to fix your next date or share contact details to fix one up later. Look back at them while leaving and Flash a smile as a sign of acknowledging the new relationship and make them feel special!
First dates are tough situations. Often they can end up being painfully awkward. So what do you do?
Here is a list of dating tips to help you and your date get started on the right foot:
- Try not to meet at each other’s houses and try to drive yourself. This is so that if you want to end the date early, you won’t be trapped. This also helps avoid the impulse to invite your date in. Also, having your own car means you don’t have to worry about your safety; your date won’t know where you live and this avoids a date turning into some bad stalking nightmare.
- Try to keep the date as simple as possible. First dates can bring on jittery nerves. Jittery nerves and complicated plans do not mix. Just make it easy and enjoyable.
- Men, try ending the date first and do it politely, though make sure that you show you’re interested. This will make you stand out.
- Women, don’t wear anything provocative or too sexy. This sounds like an old cliché but first impressions last. Your date won’t know anything about you except for how you look and how you behave. He will take you at face value and giving him the wrong impression on what sort of person you are is not something you want to do.
- Try and wear clothing that makes you confident and that you are comfortable wearing. It will be uncomfortable enough without worrying about that tightness around your waist or the itchy necktie.
- Men, try to be specific about where you are going for the date. This will make the entire affair more comfortable and it prepares your date for what to expect and what to wear. Wearing a cocktail dress to a fast food joint is definitely out!
- Ask your date about himself/herself. A healthy interest in getting to know your date is a good sign to show. This means that you want to learn about and think of your date as an interesting person. Remember, the most interesting conversationalists are those who ask about others. Great topics are work, hobbies and sports. Just keep it light and conversational.
- Try not to overdo the perfume or the cologne. Too strong and the scent can be quite distracting. It’s very hard to complete an evening out if your date is dazed by the smell.
- Mouthwash is important. Also, brush your teeth and bring a couple of mints if you’re eating out.
- And always remember… have fun and be yourself!
When you go on a date there are certain things and ways you should behave. Of course you want the person
to get to know you so you shouldn’t try and be someone that you are not. When you go out on a date you should look and dress nice. This will show the other person you care about your appearance but you also care about what they think about you. If you don’t care about what the other person thinks then you probably shouldn’t be going out on a date with them.
Depending on the person you are taking out you should also remember to open the car doors and all doors for
your date. If the woman you are going out with is a feminist, then let her open the doors and do things for herself or it will bother her. She also will want to pay for her own meal.
If you are not going on a date with an independent woman who is a feminist then you should open the
doors, be on time when you pick her up, and be prepared to pay for the entire date.
Don’t take your date somewhere you cannot afford and never find yourself asking your date for money to
cover the bill.
Dating etiquette also includes not making the other person feel as if they are on an interview. It is common for people on a date to ask many questions and they just want to get to know the other person.However, don’t make them feel as if they are on an interview or you might scare them off. Be sure to create a comfortable atmosphere.
People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water…because it works…or, at least, it can work. Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online. All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme. That’s not only wise but vital. So what’s a nice guy to do? You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo. You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you.
You must be patient. Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives. Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online. Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face. She will think you are desperate or a pervert. Patience. Patience. Patience.
Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job. A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit. Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one.
A picture really is worth a thousand words. Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots. If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head.
Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours and that she bring a friend with her. After all, you have nothing to hide. You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you. The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.
Online dating is not a competition between competing males for the attention of a female. Grow up. Change your mind set from “winning” to “searching”. This isn’t high school. You are all grown up and have been for quite some time, now. Your attitude is the most important asset you have. You should like yourself and not concentrate of all of the things that aren’t YOUR idea of the perfect guy…the one the all women want.
What is that women want, you ask? That’s the age old question. Being of the female persuasion myself, I can tell you a few things women want and don’t want.
Women want a man to be confident…NOT an arrogant jerk. There’s a big difference. You need to like yourself and not be self depreciating but you don’t need to come across like you believe that you are a gift to them from God and have just fallen from the sky. They don’t want you to think that THEY just fell from heaven and are some kind of perfect being, either. They can’t live up to that expectation.
Women want a communicator. The “strong silent type” really isn’t appealing at all. They think you probably don’t have an original thought in your head and you probably haven’t heard a word they said, either or that you just don’t care what they said or didn’t even hear what they said. They want you to be interesting enough to want to know more about you and they want you to think that they are interesting enough to ask intelligent questions about what is important to them, too.
Women do NOT want to be a prize to be won. They don’t want to be a trophy. They want to be the ONE woman that you want to be with.