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You should always watch for signs of any anomalies in the information you get from anyone online.
There shouldn’t be any inconsistencies if people are telling the truth so if you find that someone has told you something at some stage and that information differs from another discussion they had with you then be wary of that person.
The inconsistencies can relate to any areas of their life from their employment to their age, profession, interests or other things they talk about.
Take note if this happens to see whether it is an isolated incident and possibly a misunderstanding or whether the person is giving you false information.
If they are cagey about revealing information on topics that you wouldn’t expect to cause concern then that is another thing that you should deal with before accepting an invitation to meet up.
Don’t be afraid to expect direct answers to your questions regarding any matters that seem unusual and if you are unsatisfied with the information you receive then consider ending the relationship before you have any problems as honesty is a key to any successful relationship and if you haven’t got that from the start you are unlikely to get it as time goes by.
If the person gets agitated or annoyed at any comments or questions then that is another warning sign for you to consider and moving on to a more suitable person might be the best idea at that stage to ensure your safety and happiness.
Always remember that there are many people to choose from and even if this one took a long time to find the next person, who might be a lot more suitable, could be just around the corner.
You don’t need to compromise and particularly when it comes to matters as important as trust and safety.
One of the other benefits of finding suitable partners on an online dating site is the fact that you can talk about your intentions even before you meet one another and if you both have completely different hopes and aspirations for your lives then it is easier to move on and find someone else who is more suitable.
There are so many people who get into relationships where one person has different expectations than the other and they only find out about it 6 months or a year or two down the line.
And imagine what might have happened during that time.
The person you were meant to be with might have found someone else while you were floundering around with the wrong person.
And they probably found them on an online dating site too because that’s where a lot of the connections are made these days.
Can you afford to waste months or years of your life with the wrong person? I would like to think that you treasure your time enough to not let that happen.
Online dating sites are a lot like the pre-selling that goes on in any form of marketing.
You get to talk to one another in a relaxed manner online before you even decide whether you want to meet.
You should feel free to express exactly what you want from your life as this will help you to attract the right person you are looking for.
The simple fact that there are so many people on these sites to choose from should make it easier to not have to put on ‘airs’ and say things that aren’t true simply to please the other person.
It’s not like a pickup in a night club where you might say you like particular things just to increase your chances of getting a date.
Online most people tend to me more honest about themselves as that’s the way to attract the right type of person.
When you are starting out online with the aim of moving on to relationship dating in real life, there are some things that you absolutely must not do. Some of these things will kill his interest before you have even hardly started. Others will backfire on you further down the line, and put an end to everything you have built up so far. So avoid these mistakes at all costs.
1. Do not lie
It is so tempting to tell a few small lies, especially online where nobody can see you and you may not get caught out. But remember you are not going to get anywhere if this relationship never makes it off your computer into real life. You are hoping to meet this guy pretty soon, and most of your lies will catch up with you.
Many people lie about their age, marital status, weight, height, job, and even what movies or foods they like, trying to make them seem more attractive to their ideal mate. The sad thing is that the more interested the guy is, and the more he likes you, the more disappointed and turned off he will be when he finds out you lied to him.
He may not care that you are a couple of years older than him or whatever, but he WILL care that you lied. He will feel betrayed and that he cannot trust you, and he will wonder what other lies you told.
So if there is a question you don’t want to answer, either ignore it or say you’ll tell him when you know him better. You do not have to reveal all your secrets but there is no need to lie.
2. Do not use an old photo
Do not have a photo that is ten years old on your profile. It may attract the guy to your profile in the first place, but he will be disappointed when he meets you and finds you looking more wrinkly than he expected. It is almost as bad as finding out you lied. He may not say anything but he will feel that he has been deceived.
Instead, try to find a recent picture that still makes you look good. This may mean having one taken professionally. Do not worry about the cost – it is worth it. Think of it as an investment in your future.
3. Do not tell all too soon
There is nothing worse than boring a guy with your whole life story the moment he gets in touch with you. Learn the art of telling just a little – enough to arouse interest but not enough to satisfy it, and certainly not so much that you send him to sleep. Always leave him wanting more!
A good rule of thumb here is to look at how much he wrote you and write back a little less. Answer any questions that he asked you, unless you do not want to for some reason, but answer them briefly. For example if he asks you what you do, just tell him. Do not give him your full resume or describe your whole day at work.
Most people like to talk at least as much as they like to listen. Concentrate on listening, being interested in him and asking him the same types of questions that he is asking you.
4. Do not be too eager
Generally, it is better not to contact guys first on an online dating site. Let them do most of the hunting and conquering. This will keep them interested. It also makes sure that you do not waste your time on guys who only answered your email to be polite.
If you see a guy’s profile that you really like and you decide to contact him first, simply write him one line asking him to take a look at your profile. Then leave it to him to do that and get in touch with you if he wants to.
When a guy does contact you, do not write back too fast. Wait at least 24 hours from the time that he sent the message. Then if he writes again after a week, leave it longer the next time. Show him that if he wants to hear from you quickly, he must not keep you waiting too long.
Do not be the one to suggest a face to face meeting first. This is very likely to scare him away. Guys are usually very keen to meet women they are interested in so that they can get things onto a real life, physical basis. So if he doesn’t suggest it, there will be a reason. He may be too busy right now, he may have lied about something, he may even be married. Forget it. Stay in touch casually by email if you want to, but keep looking for someone who does want to meet you so that you can move onto relationship dating for real.