singlemates.net
Once you have met what seems to be your ideal person through an online dating website, it may be that it does not work out after all and that you break up for some reason out of your control. Or maybe you were the one forced to do the breaking up due to the fact that you could see things weren’t really going to work out. So how do you cope with the disappointment that you will no doubt feel? Here are some points that may help.
* First of all you must make the break cleanly and properly. Tell them why you are breaking up and be sure to stick to that. If you only half convince them, they could harass you and cause more strife.
* Make sure you do not contact them again. Make the break clean and keep it that way.
* Give yourself a little time to grieve, but don’t become awash in self pity. You’ll lose all your other friends if you do.
* Take up a new hobby or interest. It may be that painting or a new sport will be very therapeutic for you.
* Don’t immediately start looking for a new date. You must wait until you are truly ‘over it’ before doing that.
* Don’t try and get the relationship back onto a ‘just friends’ footing if it has been a romance. This will never work.
* Spend more time with all your own friends. Remember those friends you had before you started dating? Get back in the swing of going out with them. Call them up and suggest an outing.
* Don’t complain to your friends about how bad your date was. Put it all out of your mind and concentrate on the present moment.
* Keep away from the drinks/drugs scene. It will only cause more depression.
* Realize that your self-worth is not dependent on one person.
* Don’t rely on any relationship to ‘make you happy’. You need to be a happy person to start with before you can have a happy relationship.
* Think about what went wrong in your relationship. Were you too clingy? Too bossy? If so, work on toning down these attributes. Your friends may be able to tell you what sort of person you are if you can’t see yourself clearly.
* Learn to make and keep boundaries right from the start of a relationship.
* Don’t feel that no one will ever love you just because of one failed relationship.
Remember most people usually have more than one relationship or romance in their lives. You are not the first to be disappointed in love and you won’t be the last. It’s just a part of life and the quicker you get over it and get on with the rest of your life, the better you will be – and the more likely you will be to find that one true love.
Many women try online dating after failing to get or keep a date in the real world. Online dating can be a fun way to meet new people, but unless you actually meet each other in person, it won’t actually go very far. There are some things that every woman should know about online dating.
1. Pay particular attention to your personal safety. This means never giving out personal information such as your home address, phone number or your credit card details. Never agree to meet in a place that is secluded or poorly lit and always provide your own transport. It mans listening to your gut feeling about the other person and if something turns you off, do not agree to meet under any circumstances. Don’t be pressured by the other person. You have a right to say no and remain in control of the situation.
2. Many men who are interested in online dating, are not after permanent relationships. Some may even be married and not willing to divorce their wives. That is not to say all men are like that. It is possible to meet up with the love of your life through online dating and live happily ever after with him. Some people have done this. If your date seems hard to get onto, goes for some weeks without contacting you, only gives you a work or cell phone number or only calls at certain days or times, be suspicious. He could be married.
3. For some men, online dating means they forget what good manners are. Some people use anonymity as an excuse for saying – or rather, writing – things they would never do in real life. If you receive email that is not to your liking, either don’t reply or use the block feature in your email service, or on the dating site, if there is one provided. Never reply using your ‘reply’ button as this may reveal your personal email address to the other person. Instead, go the website, sign in and use the email address that was provided by the dating service.
4. You should be very specific in your profile about the type of person you want to meet. This will save both you and the others a lot of time and trouble. If you want to meet people of a certain age group, say so. If geographic location is important to you, describe that in your profile. What ever the specifics of your requirements are, it’s much better to go to the trouble of creating the profile that you want, than to have your inbox stuffed full of useless replies.
5. Once you have chosen a date, don’t spend all your time telling him how badly your ex treated you. He might begin to think there could be a reason for it. A new broom sweeps clean, so clean your slate and start afresh, even if you have had other bad experiences.
When you join an online dating service, you will have the opportunity to upload a photograph of yourself for your profile. Some allow more than one photo, which is excellent. So while you are scanning through all those great photos, here are a few pointers.
* Use recent photos. If you choose photos that are old, you are being less than truthful. Besides, old hairstyles and clothing will be likely to give your game away. (And they are sometimes less than attractive!)
* They say the camera does not lie, but some photos just don’t look good due to poor lighting or other problems. Use a photo that is as clear as possible.
* Choose several likely photos before you even go online. Don’t just grab any old snap at the last minute.
* Choose a snap that shows you at ease doing something you like. If you a surf babe, one of you on the beach would be appropriate. If you love the snow, try and get one where you are skiing or snowboarding.
* Your photo should communicate something about your personality and lifestyle. It can be something that a prospective date could look at and think that they would like to be part of. Make sure you are looking happy.
* If you choose a photo of yourself dressed up for some formal occasion, also include a ‘normal’ one, so that you are not giving a false impression of yourself.
* The first photo should be a portrait, e,g, one of your head and shoulders. Others can be more informal and more about your lifestyle, personality and ideas of fun.
* It goes without saying that your photo should not be anything indecent. Otherwise you risk being banned from the site.
* Your photo should not be a collage or composite of many.
Most online dating websites have an upload option especially for photographs. You will find their requirements onsite. Many prefer the photo to be a jpg of a certain size. Some may allow a photo to be scanned and sent as an attachment via email. This will take a bit longer to go live, due to the editors being so busy. An even longer option may allow you to send photos by snail mail. Expect this to take 48 hours or more from the time of receipt.
Don’t forget to include all your details with your photos if you do have to send them. You will need to send your membership number and username as well as your email address.