Once you have met what seems to be your ideal person through an online dating website, it may be that it does not work out after all and that you break up for some reason out of your control. Or maybe you were the one forced to do the breaking up due to the fact that you could see things weren’t really going to work out. So how do you cope with the disappointment that you will no doubt feel? Here are some points that may help.
* First of all you must make the break cleanly and properly. Tell them why you are breaking up and be sure to stick to that. If you only half convince them, they could harass you and cause more strife.
* Make sure you do not contact them again. Make the break clean and keep it that way.
* Give yourself a little time to grieve, but don’t become awash in self pity. You’ll lose all your other friends if you do.
* Take up a new hobby or interest. It may be that painting or a new sport will be very therapeutic for you.
* Don’t immediately start looking for a new date. You must wait until you are truly ‘over it’ before doing that.
* Don’t try and get the relationship back onto a ‘just friends’ footing if it has been a romance. This will never work.
* Spend more time with all your own friends. Remember those friends you had before you started dating? Get back in the swing of going out with them. Call them up and suggest an outing.
* Don’t complain to your friends about how bad your date was. Put it all out of your mind and concentrate on the present moment.
* Keep away from the drinks/drugs scene. It will only cause more depression.
* Realize that your self-worth is not dependent on one person.
* Don’t rely on any relationship to ‘make you happy’. You need to be a happy person to start with before you can have a happy relationship.
* Think about what went wrong in your relationship. Were you too clingy? Too bossy? If so, work on toning down these attributes. Your friends may be able to tell you what sort of person you are if you can’t see yourself clearly.
* Learn to make and keep boundaries right from the start of a relationship.
* Don’t feel that no one will ever love you just because of one failed relationship.
Remember most people usually have more than one relationship or romance in their lives. You are not the first to be disappointed in love and you won’t be the last. It’s just a part of life and the quicker you get over it and get on with the rest of your life, the better you will be – and the more likely you will be to find that one true love.
People’s attitudes have changed considerably in recent years. When online dating first became popular there was somewhat of a stigma attached to people who used these services to find their partners.
People with ‘dated’ attitudes were often heard to make negative comments about those people who they would say had to advertise for friendship.
This changed very fast as more and more people could see all the benefits that online dating offered.
What other method was available that would allow a person to search a database of thousands of people in minutes and narrow down their search for the type of person they were looking for?
There wasn’t any and with the fast paced lifestyle that most people live these days this was precisely what everyone was looking for.
You could get online at one of the more popular dating sites and find several suitable dates in less time that it would take to get dressed up for a night out at the local club or bar.
This was a godsend for many people who just didn’t even like to frequent these places in the hope that they would meet someone.
One of the biggest stumbling blocks that people have with finding their ideal partner is the fear of rejection and that fear is never more prevalent than at meeting places where a guy or a girl can’t pluck up the courage to approach the other for a chat.
This is something that is of no concern on the Internet. People get to meet one another online after finding common interests and then it is easy to start making contact and to see whether the other person wants to reciprocate.
If they aren’t interested then it isn’t a problem because there are thousands more people who are only a mouse click away.
The fear factor is all but eliminated.