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It can be a jungle in the online dating world, so once you are in it, it will pay to know how to survive and have fun. Here are five important things you should know.
1. A woman likes to be called by the online name she uses. You might think it sounds cool to call her Babe, Sexy or any number of other titles, but this will turn her off you quicker than a bucket of iced water. A woman likes to think you will respect her, so if you start by not respecting her enough to use her name, you won’t get past the first email. Be polite and respectful, but not stiff and formal. You can be polite and easygoing too.
2. Likewise, sexual innuendo is definitely not cool. You risk being banned by the site if you persist in this sort of email. Not to mention losing the interest of that person you thought you’d like to get to know. Not every woman is obsessed with sex, as much as most men like to think otherwise. Into sexual aggression? Forget it. Women want respect, not caveman stuff. Harassment? It’s not worth the bother. Find someone who is willing to date you; don’t go after someone who does not like the sound of your profile. You can’t please everyone. It’s not the end of the world if your date wants to end it.
3. Answer questions, but ask some yourself. This is what she calls ‘communicating’. Read her profile properly and use it to ask questions aimed at finding out more about her. If she likes to travel, ask about the places she has been to. If she has a hobby or a sport, then ask about them. Be really interested in her life, not just her looks. If you know little about one of her interests, try to find out about it so you can converse with intelligence.
4. Watch out for those man-eaters. There are some out there. If a woman asks you for money, do not come to the party no matter how desperate she sounds. Some women may only want you for your money, so it’s a good idea not to brag about how much you’ve got – at least not until you get to know her a bit better. In fact, don’t brag about anything; not sporting achievements, money, or other relationships.
5. Be honest. If you end up meeting this person and you’ve been less than honest with your photo or anything else about yourself, it will be sure to come back to haunt you and may spoil what could have been a beautiful relationship.
When you are hoping to attract and seduce a woman, you will need to know how to win her trust. Women are taught to be cautious of men throughout their lives. Children are told by their parents and teachers to be careful of strange men and for girls this continues after they are grown up.
So when you want to attract a woman, you need to earn her trust. This means treating her in a way that shows you will not hurt her. This is not just a question of hurting her physically, although this is certainly a factor. However, she also wants to know that you will not hurt her and treat her badly emotionally.
A man who is impatient and tries to bully women or coerce them into agreeing to a date is not likely to be successful with women. There may be a few who will accept this kind of treatment but most will run away. If you push a woman too hard for her phone number, for example, she will become afraid and will give you a false one.
A great way to win a woman’s trust is to establish a connection. In fact, this works for all relationships and you are probably aware of it. For example, if you are stuck in an elevator or involved in a dangerous or awkward situation with other people, you will quickly trust the people who are in that situation with you. A connection is created and a level of trust which would normally have taken months to build up, is right there immediately.
Of course you cannot arrange to get stuck in an elevator with every attractive woman that you meet – or if you do, you will find that word gets around town and people quickly become unwilling to enter elevators with you! But a great technique when you first meet a woman and want to quickly win her trust, is to create some kind of connection like this. Pick out something that unites the two of you and sets you apart from others.
It will help if you practice doing this with almost anyone you see at parties or in nightclubs. Even if you are not attracted to the person and don’t intend to talk to them, look for something that could form a connection between you and imagine what you would say. It will soon become second nature to you.
The important point with this technique is to talk about your own feelings, not hers. It works best if it’s some kind of problem that you both have – you’re dressed too smart, you wish you could smoke, etc. Does it look like her shoes might be uncomfortable? Don’t mention her shoes, but create a connection by saying you wished you’d worn your new shoes a couple times before you wore them tonight.
You can win her trust in seconds by creating a bond like this. Then you can reinforce it with touch. A touch on the arm or upper back, or holding her hand for a moment, is ideal. This will reassure her that you are interested and will take care of her. Keep it brief to leave her wanting more.