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Years ago a woman cheating on her spouse was unheard of but in modern times the number of women who cheat on their spouse is growing exponentially. The differences in men and women cheating is that men often cheat for physical reasons while women often have emotional reasons for cheating on their partner. The reasons why women cheat include loneliness, revenge, boredom and self esteem. These factors may be inexcusable but they do exist in the minds of a cheating woman. More and more women are becoming guilty of cheating on their partners and it is often emotional reasons rather than lust that drive them to these affairs.
Loneliness is one of the primary reasons that women seek out affairs and cheat on their partner. Although it sounds contradictory that they should feel lonely because the women are currently in a relationship, it is often a relationship that is not emotionally fulfilling. Women involved in these unsatisfactory relationships may feel as lonely if not more so than women who are not in a relationship. If a woman is not receiving the attention she feels she deserves in a relationship, she may be tempted to seek that attention elsewhere and become involved in an affair. A partner who becomes overly involved with his work or a hobby may not make time to spend with his partner and this often results in the women feeling as if they are all alone. This feeling of loneliness can drive a woman to cheat on her partner. One of the most prevalent reasons why women cheat is that they feel as though their current partner is not lavishing much attention on them and they feel lonely even in his presence.
Revenge has also become and increasing factor in why women cheat. The modern woman is no longer willing to sit back and accept the fact that their partner may cheat on them. If a woman confirms or even just holds a suspicion that their partner is cheating on them, they may be driven to engage in an affair of their own as an act of revenge. The theory of, “An eye for an eye,” has unfortunately trickled down into the realm of romantic relationships and many women see a cheating partner as a justification to have an affair of their own. They believe that they are justified in having an affair if they catch their partner cheating on them. Furthermore they may be extremely hurt by their partner’s actions and seek a way to hurt them in the same way. While it is not a justifiable reason, many women see revenge as an appropriate reason for cheating on their spouse.
Boredom may also factor into why women cheat. Their current relationship may have fallen into a rut and lost the excitement that it possessed in the early stages of its existence. They may feel that their relationship has become dull and predictable and rather than trying to bring excitement into their current relationship they may pursue affairs in the hopes of achieving the excitement they felt when they first became involved with their partner. While an affair may bring about a temporary solution of making the woman feel excited about love again it may ultimately destroy both their current relationship as well as their cheating relationship. An affair is exciting not only because it involves a relationship with a new person but also because it involves sneaking around and ultimately getting away with doing something wrong. To many women this is very exciting and they are willing to risk losing their relationship over their affair. Many women cheat because they are bored with the monotony of their current relationship and they seek to bring excitement back into their life through engaging in an affair.
Another reason why women cheat is a lack of self esteem. Women may feel that they are not getting an adequate amount of admiration from their partner and they may be tempted to cheat to affirm that they are still attractive and desirable. When a relationship meets a stagnant point where the partners are no longer making a conscious effort to reassure each other that they are still desirable, many women begin to feel insecure. This insecurity leads women to seek affirmation of their desirability outside of the relationship in the form of an affair. Being found desirable by another compensates for the lack of longing they feel from their partner and helps to boost their self esteem. While women with a healthy self esteem are more apt to remain happy in a relationship, those that lack self esteem are often driven to cheat on their partners.
Men are not the only ones who cheat on their partners. It is becoming more and more common for women to be guilty of cheating. While women are beginning to cheat as often as men the reasons why women cheat are much different than the reasons why men cheat. The reasons for women cheating are tied tightly to emotional reasons such as loneliness, revenge and boredom.
Early in a relationship the romance factor is very high. The romance is seemingly effortless and it seems as though the romance will never fade. You may find, however, that over time the romance does fade and the relationship doesn’t seem as exciting as it did in the beginning. This is natural as a couple becomes more familiar with each other they begin to make less of an effort in the romance department. When this happens it is time for the couple to start making a conscious effort to recharge their romance.
Recreating your first date can be one way to recharge your romance. Both partners probably put a tremendous amount of effort into their first date and it was probably an incredibly romantic night for both of you. Reenacting this first date by not only returning to the sight of the first date but also putting the same effort into preparing for the date can help to recharge your romance by reminding you of how exciting your relationship was in the beginning.
Leaving your work at the office is another way to recharge your romance. If you are constantly allowing your work life to interfere with your romantic life it is time to put your romance ahead of your career. While it is okay to talk to your partner about work and how your day went, obsessing over work is not acceptable and can put out the fire in your romance rather quickly.
Giving your partners flowers or small gifts for no reason can also recharge your romance. This lets them know that you still think about them when the two of you are apart and that your love for them is always on your mind. The gifts don’t have to be expensive or extravagant but if they truly come from the heart they will help to recharge your romance.
Another way to recharge your romance is to be spontaneous. Romance often fades when a relationship becomes routine and the partners begin to take each other for granted. Spicing things up by suggesting new activities on a whim can reintroduce the romance in your relationship. Too much planning and debate about what to do or where to go can put a damper on the activity or trip before it even takes place. Excessive planning can make something seem dull while spontaneity has the opposite affect of making the activity seem more exciting.
Spending time apart can also recharge a romance. It may sound counterproductive but having your own activities and interests keeps you from becoming bored with your partner. Spending time together is very important but spending time apart is equally important because this time apart gives you the chance to grow as an individual which can enhance your relationship.
Quality time together, just like time apart, can also help to recharge your romance. You need alone time as a couple to reconnect and nurture your romance. A night out on the town for just the two of your or a quiet night alone at home can be equally effective for recharging your romance. Without this time together a couple will not have the opportunity to express themselves to their partner in a romantic way.
Incessant arguing can destroy the romance in a relationship. If you find that you and your partner are arguing constantly or over every little thing, it’s time to really evaluate the relationship and figure out why you are arguing so much. Believe it or not, you may find that this arguing is a subconscious attempt to try to recharge your romance. Arguing invokes passion and you may be trying to bring that passion into your relationship. If you find yourself doing this, it’s time to realize that the arguing is having the opposite effect and that you have to stop this unhealthy pattern. Once you realize that there are other ways to recharge a romance your arguing will subside.
Making a concerted effort to impress your partner can also recharge the romance in a relationship. As a relationship progresses there is often a sense of familiarity and comfort that emerges and results in the couple feeling as if they no longer need to try to impress their partner. They may begin to let their appearance go or stop going out of their way to please their partner. Reversing this by returning to your old ways of trying to impress your partner can go a long way in recharging romance in a relationship.
Taking a trip together can also have the effect of recharging your romance. While planning a trip may be stressful most people relax and enjoy themselves once they reach their destination. Planning a trip with your partner will give each other the opportunity to enjoy each other’s company without the worries and hassles of everyday life.
Turning off the computer for a few days can be a really simple way to recharge your romance. Many couples use their computers often to check email, search the Internet or chat with others and this time spent on the computer can really add up and begin to take time away from your partner. Time can fly when you are computing and you may find that you have wasted an entire night on your computer. You may find that if you turn the computer off for a few days, you have a lot more time to spend with your partner and the romance may naturally return to your relationship.
It is natural for romance to begin to fade if the partners begin to take each other for granted and stop trying to impress each other. Romance doesn’t exist on its own; it needs to be nurtured in a loving way in order to survive. Recharging your romance may seem like a daunting task but it really isn’t. Making an effort to spend time together, showing your partner that you care and scheduling time together and apart are all simple ways to recharge your romance.
A relationship coach is an expert who literally becomes a part of your relationship for a short time and during that time they evaluate your relationship, act as a visionary in helping you to realize the potential of your relationship and offer tips and guidelines for achieving this potential. A relationship coach often has extensive education in human development or communication and they utilize their educational background to help to enhance your relationship. Relationship coaches are tasked with instilling the skills necessary to produce a more fulfilling relationship and they often do this through listening to your understanding of the problem, observing the couple in action and creating a customized plan of action for the couple. This article will outline the basic functions of a relationship coach and how they can be beneficial in a relationship.
The first step that a relationship coach will often take is to listen to a couple’s complaints about the relationship. While the couple may not be seeing the full problem, their understanding of the existing issues is often a good starting point for a relationship coach to begin her evaluation. It is important that in your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you bring up all of the problems you see with the relationship. While you and your partner may have already discussed these issues at length, your relationship coach needs to hear these issues so that she can be sure to make an effort to observe these issues in the next stage of the process. Being open and honest with your relationship coach about your perception of the problem is crucial to receiving a benefit from the use of a relationship coach. Trying to hide certain issues or neglecting to mention them does not give the relationship coach an accurate representation of your relationship. Furthermore it can be detrimental because if you neglect to mention a particular issue your relationship coach may be inclined to believe that you are satisfied with this aspect of your relationship and may not work to make improvements in this area. In your initial consultation with a relationship coach, you will have the opportunity to offer your take on the relationship and let the coach know what you think is working and what needs improvement.
After the initial consultation a relationship coach will often take some time to evaluate the couple’s relationship through observation. They may come into the couple’s lives on a daily basis and ask them to act normally while they observe the way that the couple interacts. This step is very important because it gives the relationship coach a chance to determine whether or not the couple’s self assessment of their relationship is accurate. The couple may have their own beliefs about why an aspect of their relationship is dysfunctional but through careful observation the relationship coach may determine that the source of the problem is very different from the couple’s perception. While a relationship coach may be able to determine the problems in a couple’s relationship through observation, this is only possibly if the couple makes an honest effort to act naturally during this observation period. If the couple tries to fix their own problems during this phase and does not act naturally it will be difficult for the relationship coach to form a valid opinion about the way the couple interacts.
Once a relationship coach has had the opportunity to meet with the couple and spend some time observing their interactions they will be able to design a customized plan of action for enhancing the relationship and working to improve troubled areas. The relationship coach will often offer exercises for the couple that will help them to see what they are doing wrong in the relationship and how these discrepancies can be fixed. These exercises may involve either role playing activities that address everyday situations the couple faces or tips for communicating in stressful situations when they arise. These exercises may also offer ways for the couple to learn to communicate in new ways for all situations not just those that place stress on the relationship. While the exercises prescribed by the relationship coach may sound either too complicated or too simplistic, it is important to remember that these exercises won’t help your relationship unless you are willing to give them a try.
Finally it is important to realize when relationship coaching will be effective in a relationship. The general rule of thumb is that if you are considering enlisting the help of a relationship coach, then they will most likely be able to help your relationship. The simple fact that you are considering a relationship coach demonstrates that you have faith in your relationship and are willing to work to improve the relationship. If you have never heard of relationship coaches and a friend or relative suggests one and your attitude is that they won’t be able to help you that that is an indication that you have already given up on the relationship and in this scenario a relationship coach will most likely not be able to help your relationship. The use of a relationship coach is most effective when at least one but preferably both of the partners are committed to doing whatever it takes to salvage the relationship.
Relationship coaches may not be for everyone or every relationship but they can be critical in enhancing a relationship in some situations. It is important to realize that relationship coaches can not solve all of your problems but they can offer you solutions for some problems and exercises for working on these problems. If you are willing to put an honest effort into solving some of the problems in your relationship then you may greatly benefit from the advice of a relationship coach.
One of the other benefits of finding suitable partners on an online dating site is the fact that you can talk about your intentions even before you meet one another and if you both have completely different hopes and aspirations for your lives then it is easier to move on and find someone else who is more suitable.
There are so many people who get into relationships where one person has different expectations than the other and they only find out about it 6 months or a year or two down the line.
And imagine what might have happened during that time.
The person you were meant to be with might have found someone else while you were floundering around with the wrong person.
And they probably found them on an online dating site too because that’s where a lot of the connections are made these days.
Can you afford to waste months or years of your life with the wrong person? I would like to think that you treasure your time enough to not let that happen.
Online dating sites are a lot like the pre-selling that goes on in any form of marketing.
You get to talk to one another in a relaxed manner online before you even decide whether you want to meet.
You should feel free to express exactly what you want from your life as this will help you to attract the right person you are looking for.
The simple fact that there are so many people on these sites to choose from should make it easier to not have to put on ‘airs’ and say things that aren’t true simply to please the other person.
It’s not like a pickup in a night club where you might say you like particular things just to increase your chances of getting a date.
Online most people tend to me more honest about themselves as that’s the way to attract the right type of person.
There are a number of reasons why a couple may find themselves spending Valentine’s Day apart. Couples who are in a long distance relationship, business trips, shifts which prevent couples from being together, sickness and family emergencies are just a few examples of reasons why a couple may find themselves spending Valentine’s Day apart. While you may certainly understand the reasons why you and your loved ones cannot be together on Valentine’s Day it does not make it any easy to deal with this situation. You may still feel sad and lonely if you find yourself in one of these situations. However, there is home for those who are spending Valentine’s Day apart from their loved ones, there are a few ways for making the day a lot more fun. This article will provide information on ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day apart in a number of different scenarios.
First we will consider the case of a couple who is in a long distance relationship. For this couple, they may be used to spending important days such as Valentine’s Day, anniversaries and other holidays apart so it may not be as difficult for them to deal with. However, there are ways this couple can still celebrate Valentine’s Day together. One way to do this is to both rent the same movie and watch it while on the phone together. This may run up your phone bill but if you have unlimited evening minutes you and your partner can chat away on your cell phones while you watch the movie together. You might even consider both ordering the same type of food such as pizza or Chinese food so you will feel even more together for a little while.
Next we will consider a couple who finds themselves spending Valentine’s Day apart do to an unexpected business trip. This can be particularly difficult because the couple is not used to being apart on important days and likely did not have a great deal of time to prepare for spending the holiday apart. In this situation the couple should discuss Valentine’s Day as soon as they realize they are going to be spending the holiday apart. While discussing it they can decide whether they want to celebrate before they separate or after they are reunited. It is also important for the couple to try to at least have some contact on Valentine’s Day even if it is over the phone or through email. This will allow the couple to feel like they are together in some way so they don’t get too lonely. Having flowers delivered to your loved one while you are separated is also a very thoughtful gesture.
Finally, we will consider the case of a couple who cannot spend Valentine’s Day together because one or both of them does work which involves odd shifts. This could include doctors, firefighters, police officers or a variety of other professions. Individuals in this type of situation are probably used to their odd schedule and making time to be together outside of working hours. In this case the best way to deal with being apart on Valentine’s Day is to plan on celebrating together when it is more convenient. This may not seem like the most romantic option but sometimes it is important to remember that you love your partner every day of the year and you don’t have to be together on Valentine’s Day to prove your love for each other.
Many women try online dating after failing to get or keep a date in the real world. Online dating can be a fun way to meet new people, but unless you actually meet each other in person, it won’t actually go very far. There are some things that every woman should know about online dating.
1. Pay particular attention to your personal safety. This means never giving out personal information such as your home address, phone number or your credit card details. Never agree to meet in a place that is secluded or poorly lit and always provide your own transport. It mans listening to your gut feeling about the other person and if something turns you off, do not agree to meet under any circumstances. Don’t be pressured by the other person. You have a right to say no and remain in control of the situation.
2. Many men who are interested in online dating, are not after permanent relationships. Some may even be married and not willing to divorce their wives. That is not to say all men are like that. It is possible to meet up with the love of your life through online dating and live happily ever after with him. Some people have done this. If your date seems hard to get onto, goes for some weeks without contacting you, only gives you a work or cell phone number or only calls at certain days or times, be suspicious. He could be married.
3. For some men, online dating means they forget what good manners are. Some people use anonymity as an excuse for saying – or rather, writing – things they would never do in real life. If you receive email that is not to your liking, either don’t reply or use the block feature in your email service, or on the dating site, if there is one provided. Never reply using your ‘reply’ button as this may reveal your personal email address to the other person. Instead, go the website, sign in and use the email address that was provided by the dating service.
4. You should be very specific in your profile about the type of person you want to meet. This will save both you and the others a lot of time and trouble. If you want to meet people of a certain age group, say so. If geographic location is important to you, describe that in your profile. What ever the specifics of your requirements are, it’s much better to go to the trouble of creating the profile that you want, than to have your inbox stuffed full of useless replies.
5. Once you have chosen a date, don’t spend all your time telling him how badly your ex treated you. He might begin to think there could be a reason for it. A new broom sweeps clean, so clean your slate and start afresh, even if you have had other bad experiences.
Once you have met a person online whom you feel comfortable with and would like to get to know a little better, it could be time to set up a meeting in person. However, be sure you keep some safety guidelines in place. There is no sense in putting yourself in any more danger than you need to. Of course, you don’t know that you will be in danger, but it’s best to err on the side of safety than otherwise. If your date cannot agree with your safety precautions it might be best not to agree to meet at all.
Never give out personal information like your home phone number or your home address. Once you agree to meet, make sure you choose a public place that is well lit and has plenty of people about. Do not agree to meet in a deserted park or beach. It might even be a good idea to take a friend along with you. Perhaps you could take another couple and go out as a foursome until you feel you can trust your date.
If you don’t take anyone with you, let your friends know where you are going and what time you expect to be back. They will be able to check up that you are all right, or inform the police if you don’t show up. If this sounds a bit over the top, remember that you don’t know any more about your date than he has decided to tell you. And you only have his word that he is telling the truth.
Once you have settled on the place and the time, make sure you do show up on time. Your date is likely to be as nervous as you are and if you are late they might simply walk away. You’ve spent a good deal of effort to get this date, so you don’t want to ruin it before it starts.
Dress appropriately for the occasion and make sure you feel comfortable with what you are wearing. You don’t want to have half your attention on whether you look all right when you should be focusing on your date.
Set boundaries and keep to them. Your date will respect you more if you set certain standards of behavior right from the start. If you both agree to a certain time, then you should both be there at that time, unless an accident prevents it. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect and neither does your date. Kindness and compassion go a long way to keeping a relationship healthy.
Many people who decide to give online dating a try often end up with their hair singed and fingers burnt.
The reason we decided to put together such a manual is that online dating is not as simple as it looks. You need to know how to go about it in order to get the best out of it. Most people do not like to take chances and when it comes to finding a life partner people do not want to take chances at all.
But you can relax for through this manual we will be dealing with all the do’s and the don’ts and so the whole process will be quite easy and enjoyable to you. This manual will provide you with step by step instructions on how to being online dating.
We have no doubts about the decision making abilities of our readers and so we do not propose to give a lot of advice on the issue. Our purpose is simply to provide a couple of guidelines which we hope our readers will find valuable as they proceed in the attempt to find the perfect partner.
What are the five phases of a romantic relationship?
For a relationship to be successful it really needs to go through five stages. Attraction, idealized positive transference which I call the honeymoon, reality, commitment, and then hopefully eventually marriage.
What is the “attraction phase” of a relationship?
The attraction phase is the easiest one and we all go through it. You see somebody across a room, you see them at a bar, you see them out with friends and you find yourself strongly and physically attracted to them. So you embark upon a relationship if they are attracted to you as well.
How does my unconscious come into play during the attraction phase of a relationship?
During the attraction phase, your unconscious is actually playing a part. You may be thinking that you’re just meeting somebody and you’re just learning a little bit about them by talking to them, but your unconscious is picking up a lot, too. You can find traits that you don’t even recognize you’re finding in that other person, that will help you keep on an even psychological keel.
What is the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship?
The honeymoon phase, which is the second phase of any relationship, is really the key phase because here’s where you build up a good head of steam that will hopefully get you through all the other stages. The real term for its “idealized positive transference.” Idealized, that’s easy – that’s your image of the perfect person for you. Positive, well that’s a very positive image; it’s all good things. Transference: you take that from inside of you and you put it onto the other person. This is when you see the person not for who they are and who you really in your deepest dreams hope they will be.
How does my unconscious come into play during the honeymoon phase of a relationship?
In the honeymoon phase of a relationship, when you’re coming up with this idealization of the perfect person, you’re drawing a lot on your past. You’re thinking about things that were implanted in you when you were very young, and those are the traits that you’re looking for in a partner. They are all the good traits. If you needed a lot compassion that you didn’t get, you’re looking for a compassionate partner. If you needed understanding, or if you needed patience, whatever it is you needed, that’s what you’re seeing in the other person during the honeymoon period of a relationship. That may not be who they are.
The Life Cycle Of A Relationship
What is the “reality phase” of a romantic relationship?
The reality phase comes in two parts. Early reality happens the very first time you say, “There’s something about this person I’m not sure about.” You don’t like the way they laugh. You don’t like how they go out with their friends all the time. It’s the first thing that punctures that wall of idealization that you’ve been building beforehand. The second phase, late reality, is the first time you say, “Can I make it with this person? Are we really cut out to be together?”
What is the “commitment phase” of a romantic relationship?
If you make it through the “reality” phase and you decide this is the person for you, then you move on to the “commitment” phase. This is when you decide “this is the only person for me. Right now I’m going to forgo everything and everyone else and see if I can make this work,” hopefully with an eye towards something permanent like marriage. This is the phase where you start to unconciously negotiate. You’re not saying “what are you expected to do, what am I expected to do,” but you start to really futz around with space issues–how much togetherness you’re going to have and what each partner is expected to do within the relationship. That’s when you start to hear the “I need some space”, that’s when that first comes into a relationship.
Why do couples start fighting more during the commitment phase of a romantic relationship?
The thing about the commitment phase is, you’ve finally gotten some distance between you and those idealizations of the person that you’re with, the reality phase has kind of taken care of all of that. So as you’re negotiating within your commitment with somebody, working out who has to do what and also starting to play out things from your past. This person now feels more like family to you, and so the things that you haven’t been able to work out from your childhood, you start unconsciously trying to work out with this new person you’re with.
What questions should I be asking myself during the commitment phase of a relationship?
Understood properly, the commitment phase is your last chance to really see what you getting. You know, you’ve moved away from this picture of the perfect person that you had during the second phase of idealization. And you gone through some reality and so you understand the ways in which you’re not necessarily happy with them. But, now is the time you need to look at both, how you get along with each and other people. But, also how your personalities mesh. What components of theirs are really working for you? And, what components of your personality might be really working for them and which components are very troubling. One of the ways to do this is to ask a lot of questions both of yourself and of them, certainly by investigating their past and your own. If you can get some idea of how they were raised, and, more importantly, how their previous relationships went, you will have a very good indication of how your relationship with them might go. And if ultimately you find out that you going to have to do a pretty significant amount of changing for the relationship to work out, chances are pretty good you should walk away and walk away quick because the reality is once we at a certain age change is hard.
What is the “marriage phase” of a romantic relationship?
The marriage phase is the one we all understand: sign a piece of paper and move in together. The marriage phase, in many ways, is the most troubling relationship phase of all, because what happens you make a break with the past is you become confused between the past and the present. Your idea of family once you’re married goes from those people back there to this person that I am with. Marriage is the time psychologically when the gloves come off and you find you can play out things with your spouse that you never really played out when you were just starting or living together, etc. Marriage is the time when you really see the other person in the relationship – who they are both consciously and unconsciously.
What are some mistakes people make in navigating the life cycle of a romantic relationship?
Here’s the thing about the phases of the relationship: you have to go through them. A very good friend of mine just went through a terrible divorce, and I came to realize in talking to her afterwards they had fallen in love and married in the second phase of the relationship when they were still idealizing each other. She spent the last 4 or 5 years of their marriage saying, “How come he can’t be the guy I fell in love with?” The answer, unfortunately, is that he was never that guy. That was your projection of who he was. You can’t skip the steps. Obviously we all start with attraction but you have to build up some idealization. You have to go through reality. You have to try to commit to each other to see if it’ll work out, and then you can go on to a more permanent relationship.
What is the time frame for each phase of the romantic relationship?
There is no set time limit for a relationship to run its course. There’s no: “The attraction phase should be ten minutes and idealizationism, a couple of weeks.” You’ve got to use your head and give it time. You have to make sure that you’ve been through each step, because sometimes idealization can last a long time. My co-author had a couple that met while one was living in Syracuse and one was living in New York City. They managed to marry without ever moving in together, and as he says, they’re still idealizing each other, and that’s terrific. For most of us, you have to understand that unless you have that moment where you really question the relationship, unless you’ve had that moment where you negotiate with your partner for boundaries, you’re really not ready to make anything permanent.
There are many people who feel that e-mail will never have the warmth or the personal touch of the old fashioned letters and cards that people used to send through the postal service. That may be true but e-mail has an advantage of the here and the now.
Because you are aware of the fact that the person you are chatting is reaching out to you in the same way as you are reaching out to that person, there is a tendency for an intimacy to build up even before you know it.
The medium ceases to be the deciding factor and when a person presses you for information which you have to supply immediately you might let certain details slip out unless you are well prepared.
You have to be on your guard all the time and keep constantly reminding your self that the person you are chatting with is, after all a stranger and a goodness-knows-what. The best thing that you could do is avoid instant intimacy altogether.
It doesn’t really matter if the other person finds you cold or reserved, you can easily solve that by telling the other person that it takes sometime for you to become comfortable with a person. That in fact is a good quality because it is as good as saying, “Well, I’m sorry I’m not the loose kind who plays around.”
There is something that many of my readers might want to know and that is how to find out if the other person is lying. As I had told you earlier, the Net can be a very unsafe place and so we have to be absolutely sure about the good faith of the other person before revealing any personal details about ourselves. So the next part has been devoted specifically for that.
4 Ways To Tell If Someone Is Lying
1.As discussed earlier, we are not going to resort to singles’ chat rooms dedicated specifically to online dating. Instead we will be in chat rooms of specific interest. So one very effective way of finding out if a person is lying would be to ask the person very pointed questions about the area of interest. If the person fumbles or gives vague answers then you do not have to waste your time on such a person.
2.Another thing that you could do is that from the moment you first make contact, jot down whatever details the person chooses to reveal to you and in subsequent encounters nonchalantly question the person about the details, if there is a contradiction in the two details then you can be as sure as pat that the person is lying.
3.Ask the person seemingly general questions but which in fact should have a very definite purpose, for example ask the person what he or she is looking for in such a relationship. Note down the answer. After two or three encounters again repeat the question and see whether the two answers match.
4.You could try pretending that you have chatted with the person before and innocently ask the person if he or she is such and such person (make something up) and try offering compliments to the person like, “I really enjoyed chatting with you the other day. You were perfectly charming…” and so on. If the person falls for cheap flattery like this, then obviously he or she makes it a hobby to chat with people under various identities.
And so the chatting goes on until the person really grows on you. When you feel that you can really trust the person, you may try giving the person your telephone number. Remember that this too is a giant leap towards building a relationship so it’s better that you be sure than sorry.
The safest thing you can do about telephone numbers is to mutually exchange it preferably at the same time, so that neither party is at a disadvantage. It’s really no big deal, you can afford to tell the person that you are just being wary, the person will understand. If he or she does not, then there is a good chance that he or she will not understand a lot of other things as well. In that case, dump the person.