singlemates.net
When you join a dating site it is usually to find a romantic date, so how do you go about choosing your online dating identity? First of all, you will have filled in the numerous questions used to find your perfect match. Of course most matches are not truly perfect and you will have to use your own common sense in choosing those that seem to be the best fit with what you desire in a date. If the person loves football and you hate it, there’s not much point getting together unless you know you can live with that.
First you will receive an email from them to show you that they are interested. Of course, your real email address will be hidden, so don’t just hit the ‘reply’ button or you will risk revealing it. You need to log in to the dating website and then go to your prospective date’s profile. Read everything they have written about themselves and see if it is a fit with what you would like in a date.
You might be able to tell what sort of person they are from the wording of their first email to you. If they have written something like, Hey Babe, let’s hit the beaches tomorrow, When you specifically asked to be addressed by the name you’ve chosen for your profile, then you can be reasonably sure that this is not the person you are looking for. It may seem like a little thing at first glance, but if someone can’t respect your wishes in a small thing, will they be likely to respect them in a more important issue?
Other things to watch out for in their emails are things like do they seem to avoid answering your questions, do they seem to anger easily, and are they controlling? Watch for respect. If a person sounds respectful it is a good sign. Some people tend to forget that a real person with real feelings is on the other end of their email.
Once you decide not to use the anonymous email address provided by the dating service, choose a free email account (eg hotmail) and never reveal your full name. The same applies to telephone calls. Use a cell phone or an anonymous telephone service for phone calls until you get to know the person better.
Once you decide to meet in person, take note of whether they look like their photo. If they have told you that their photo is a recent one, but you can see it’s not, then you know they have lied to you. Once again, if they can tell a white lie, then they can tell a whopper, so be careful. Once you put a few safeguards into place, go ahead and have some fun. You’ll enjoy it all the more knowing you are safe.
You can use your header to help find the right person more easily.
By adding some of your details in your header it will help filter out those people who aren’t looking for someone like you and at the same time attract those who are.
Your header could state that you are ‘An LA windsurfer looking for a Blonde Beach Girl’
Now that makes it easy for people to quickly see whether they might be a candidate for a friendship doesn’t it?
Or maybe you are ‘Looking for a female travel companion in her 30’s’
If you were in your thirties and loved travel you would probably be interested in clicking on that person’s profile to find out more information wouldn’t you?
Make it easy for the right people to find you and you will get better results sooner.
Think of what your most important requirements are and see if you can include that in your header as a filter to get more targeted people contacting you.
Now if you can also add some humor to that heading or something clever that would also attract attention you will be boosting your chances of getting the right people wanting to know more about you in droves.
You will also save yourself a lot of time by not having to deal with people who contact you that aren’t suitable.
When they get to your profile you can expand on this information to filter the prospects even further.
The people who have the most success with the online dating sites are those who take the time to decide what they are really after and then focus all of their efforts on getting precisely that.
If you haven’t any idea of what you really want then you are only going to attract people who don’t really care what they get.
It can be a jungle in the online dating world, so once you are in it, it will pay to know how to survive and have fun. Here are five important things you should know.
1. A woman likes to be called by the online name she uses. You might think it sounds cool to call her Babe, Sexy or any number of other titles, but this will turn her off you quicker than a bucket of iced water. A woman likes to think you will respect her, so if you start by not respecting her enough to use her name, you won’t get past the first email. Be polite and respectful, but not stiff and formal. You can be polite and easygoing too.
2. Likewise, sexual innuendo is definitely not cool. You risk being banned by the site if you persist in this sort of email. Not to mention losing the interest of that person you thought you’d like to get to know. Not every woman is obsessed with sex, as much as most men like to think otherwise. Into sexual aggression? Forget it. Women want respect, not caveman stuff. Harassment? It’s not worth the bother. Find someone who is willing to date you; don’t go after someone who does not like the sound of your profile. You can’t please everyone. It’s not the end of the world if your date wants to end it.
3. Answer questions, but ask some yourself. This is what she calls ‘communicating’. Read her profile properly and use it to ask questions aimed at finding out more about her. If she likes to travel, ask about the places she has been to. If she has a hobby or a sport, then ask about them. Be really interested in her life, not just her looks. If you know little about one of her interests, try to find out about it so you can converse with intelligence.
4. Watch out for those man-eaters. There are some out there. If a woman asks you for money, do not come to the party no matter how desperate she sounds. Some women may only want you for your money, so it’s a good idea not to brag about how much you’ve got – at least not until you get to know her a bit better. In fact, don’t brag about anything; not sporting achievements, money, or other relationships.
5. Be honest. If you end up meeting this person and you’ve been less than honest with your photo or anything else about yourself, it will be sure to come back to haunt you and may spoil what could have been a beautiful relationship.
If you are thinking of joining an online dating service, you might be worried about the safety of your personal information. After all, you usually cannot join unless you first give this information to the dating service. They need it to ensure that you a bonafide person who really wants to use the service in a proper manner, i.e. to meet people in friendship
Most online dating services have a great deal of protection in place for your own personal safety. They do not give out your real email address to anyone and neither should you. Even though you must give your real email address to the dating service, most use technology in the form of a double-blind email system to keep your email address anonymous. When you join up, you will be given an email address that you should use for the purpose of contacting others in the dating service. You should never reveal your private email address to anyone.
Your online dating service will never send you an email asking for your account password or secure names or numbers. The only time this is likely to happen is if you have instigated a query to the help line. Another thing you should never do is give out your credit card number to anyone who sends you an email asking for it. Or if the email has a form to write it into, do not do this. Some fraudulent people may pretend to be the website dating service and send an email in order to get your credit card number. Always check on the blue line at the top of the screen. It should have the name of the dating service and their website host on it. Many will tell you what this is when you join up.
If you use a public computer to access your online dating service, always be sure to sign out before leaving, otherwise the next person to use it will have access to your personal information. Never give anyone your real address either. Some people who use dating websites may not be fully trustworthy, so if you remember to never divulge your personal details, you will be protected from these frauds.
When you join an online dating service, you should always read the terms and conditions very carefully. There you will find other details that will put you wise to any frauds or scams that you may come across. Remember, this knowledge will keep you safe only if you act upon it.
Most people assume that all of the information on safe online dating is aimed at the women. However, men also need to be safety conscious when giving out information online. Keep in mind that anybody can pretend to be anybody online, and you do not know that your correspondent is who she says she is, or even that she is female at all.
Most everybody these days knows not to give out personal information on the internet in case of ID theft. We have all seen phishing scam emails that try to get our login details or financial information. However, it is easy to forget our caution when dealing with what seems to be a gorgeous woman on a dating site.
If you meet someone online who very quickly asks for personal details such as last name and address or your place of employment, or offers them in exchange for yours, be wary. You cannot be sure why she wants this information but she surely does not yet need it. It is possible that she just wants to check you out, but until you have at least talked to her on the phone you don’t have to give any personal details.
Watch out for women who focus on anything related to money. Sure, women tend to have less money than men, and if she is upfront about not having much and is fine with it, then it’s not a problem. But if you suspect that she is hinting that she needs a loan or a gift of money, or if she wants anything that requires your bank account details, do not give them and do not contact her again.
The most common financial scam involves a situation where you are asked to receive money or pay a cashier’s check into your bank account in exchange for goods or a payment of less than the amount you have been paid. It seems like you cannot lose, until the cashier’s check is returned by your bank, the person disappears and you have given goods or paid out money for nothing.
If a woman gives you her phone number but you always get the answering machine, you may wonder why, especially if she calls you back from a different number. Is that really her number? Maybe she doesn’t like answering the phone to strangers, but once she knows you and recognizes your number, it is reasonable to expect her to pick up now and again.
Be very cautious if you never get to talk to her on the phone at all. If all you ever receive is emails and text messages in response to your phone calls, keep in mind that ’she’ may not be able to talk to you because ’she’ is not really a woman. This may not be a financial scam but perhaps a gay man wasting your time while he acts out a fantasy. Move on to a real woman who wants to speak to you.
The great thing about internet dating is that there are so many genuine people out there, looking for love. All you need to do is be aware of a few simple rules of safe online dating.