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It can be a jungle in the online dating world, so once you are in it, it will pay to know how to survive and have fun. Here are five important things you should know.
1. A woman likes to be called by the online name she uses. You might think it sounds cool to call her Babe, Sexy or any number of other titles, but this will turn her off you quicker than a bucket of iced water. A woman likes to think you will respect her, so if you start by not respecting her enough to use her name, you won’t get past the first email. Be polite and respectful, but not stiff and formal. You can be polite and easygoing too.
2. Likewise, sexual innuendo is definitely not cool. You risk being banned by the site if you persist in this sort of email. Not to mention losing the interest of that person you thought you’d like to get to know. Not every woman is obsessed with sex, as much as most men like to think otherwise. Into sexual aggression? Forget it. Women want respect, not caveman stuff. Harassment? It’s not worth the bother. Find someone who is willing to date you; don’t go after someone who does not like the sound of your profile. You can’t please everyone. It’s not the end of the world if your date wants to end it.
3. Answer questions, but ask some yourself. This is what she calls ‘communicating’. Read her profile properly and use it to ask questions aimed at finding out more about her. If she likes to travel, ask about the places she has been to. If she has a hobby or a sport, then ask about them. Be really interested in her life, not just her looks. If you know little about one of her interests, try to find out about it so you can converse with intelligence.
4. Watch out for those man-eaters. There are some out there. If a woman asks you for money, do not come to the party no matter how desperate she sounds. Some women may only want you for your money, so it’s a good idea not to brag about how much you’ve got – at least not until you get to know her a bit better. In fact, don’t brag about anything; not sporting achievements, money, or other relationships.
5. Be honest. If you end up meeting this person and you’ve been less than honest with your photo or anything else about yourself, it will be sure to come back to haunt you and may spoil what could have been a beautiful relationship.
When you join up with an online dating service you will be asked a number of questions about your likes and dislikes and what you see as your personality traits. This is to ensure the service can match you with a person who is as close to you in nature as possible. It is up to you to answer these questions as truthfully as possible to ensure a good fit.
These questions are often in the form of a quiz, and all you have to do is check the most appropriate box (or circle) in the row. They may ask questions like: – are you content, humorous, efficient, artistic, a perfectionist, creative, etc. with options ranging from a little to a lot. This sounds simple at first, but one site has well over 75 questions of this type to answer. Okay, so you only have to tick each one, but it still does take up quite a bit of time.
Once the easy questions have been answered, you will be likely to get some harder questions. Never mind; they are important and at least they are mostly still to be answered with a check in a box or circle, so at least that part is easy. These are to find out about what sorts of values are important to you, whether you are good at resolving conflict, what background you come from and all those kinds of things.
Not only do you have to answer questions about yourself, your personality traits, your likes and dislikes, whether you have a faith and how important it is to you, your background and whether you would prefer a serious relationship or one less so, you also need to answer questions about what you would prefer to find in your prospective date. Most of these will be on a similar line to the ones you just answered about yourself. But you are likely to answer them in a different way. Why? Because you are not going to want a date that is a carbon copy of yourself in every way.
It is important to answer all these questions as truthfully as possible, even though it may seem to take forever. If you are serious about finding a person that you get on well with, these questions will help the dating service find a really good match for you. In fact, they will probably find several, and it will then be up to you to choose whom you want to get in touch with.
Many women try online dating after failing to get or keep a date in the real world. Online dating can be a fun way to meet new people, but unless you actually meet each other in person, it won’t actually go very far. There are some things that every woman should know about online dating.
1. Pay particular attention to your personal safety. This means never giving out personal information such as your home address, phone number or your credit card details. Never agree to meet in a place that is secluded or poorly lit and always provide your own transport. It mans listening to your gut feeling about the other person and if something turns you off, do not agree to meet under any circumstances. Don’t be pressured by the other person. You have a right to say no and remain in control of the situation.
2. Many men who are interested in online dating, are not after permanent relationships. Some may even be married and not willing to divorce their wives. That is not to say all men are like that. It is possible to meet up with the love of your life through online dating and live happily ever after with him. Some people have done this. If your date seems hard to get onto, goes for some weeks without contacting you, only gives you a work or cell phone number or only calls at certain days or times, be suspicious. He could be married.
3. For some men, online dating means they forget what good manners are. Some people use anonymity as an excuse for saying – or rather, writing – things they would never do in real life. If you receive email that is not to your liking, either don’t reply or use the block feature in your email service, or on the dating site, if there is one provided. Never reply using your ‘reply’ button as this may reveal your personal email address to the other person. Instead, go the website, sign in and use the email address that was provided by the dating service.
4. You should be very specific in your profile about the type of person you want to meet. This will save both you and the others a lot of time and trouble. If you want to meet people of a certain age group, say so. If geographic location is important to you, describe that in your profile. What ever the specifics of your requirements are, it’s much better to go to the trouble of creating the profile that you want, than to have your inbox stuffed full of useless replies.
5. Once you have chosen a date, don’t spend all your time telling him how badly your ex treated you. He might begin to think there could be a reason for it. A new broom sweeps clean, so clean your slate and start afresh, even if you have had other bad experiences.
If you are thinking of joining an online dating service, you might be worried about the safety of your personal information. After all, you usually cannot join unless you first give this information to the dating service. They need it to ensure that you a bonafide person who really wants to use the service in a proper manner, i.e. to meet people in friendship
Most online dating services have a great deal of protection in place for your own personal safety. They do not give out your real email address to anyone and neither should you. Even though you must give your real email address to the dating service, most use technology in the form of a double-blind email system to keep your email address anonymous. When you join up, you will be given an email address that you should use for the purpose of contacting others in the dating service. You should never reveal your private email address to anyone.
Your online dating service will never send you an email asking for your account password or secure names or numbers. The only time this is likely to happen is if you have instigated a query to the help line. Another thing you should never do is give out your credit card number to anyone who sends you an email asking for it. Or if the email has a form to write it into, do not do this. Some fraudulent people may pretend to be the website dating service and send an email in order to get your credit card number. Always check on the blue line at the top of the screen. It should have the name of the dating service and their website host on it. Many will tell you what this is when you join up.
If you use a public computer to access your online dating service, always be sure to sign out before leaving, otherwise the next person to use it will have access to your personal information. Never give anyone your real address either. Some people who use dating websites may not be fully trustworthy, so if you remember to never divulge your personal details, you will be protected from these frauds.
When you join an online dating service, you should always read the terms and conditions very carefully. There you will find other details that will put you wise to any frauds or scams that you may come across. Remember, this knowledge will keep you safe only if you act upon it.
Most people assume that all of the information on safe online dating is aimed at the women. However, men also need to be safety conscious when giving out information online. Keep in mind that anybody can pretend to be anybody online, and you do not know that your correspondent is who she says she is, or even that she is female at all.
Most everybody these days knows not to give out personal information on the internet in case of ID theft. We have all seen phishing scam emails that try to get our login details or financial information. However, it is easy to forget our caution when dealing with what seems to be a gorgeous woman on a dating site.
If you meet someone online who very quickly asks for personal details such as last name and address or your place of employment, or offers them in exchange for yours, be wary. You cannot be sure why she wants this information but she surely does not yet need it. It is possible that she just wants to check you out, but until you have at least talked to her on the phone you don’t have to give any personal details.
Watch out for women who focus on anything related to money. Sure, women tend to have less money than men, and if she is upfront about not having much and is fine with it, then it’s not a problem. But if you suspect that she is hinting that she needs a loan or a gift of money, or if she wants anything that requires your bank account details, do not give them and do not contact her again.
The most common financial scam involves a situation where you are asked to receive money or pay a cashier’s check into your bank account in exchange for goods or a payment of less than the amount you have been paid. It seems like you cannot lose, until the cashier’s check is returned by your bank, the person disappears and you have given goods or paid out money for nothing.
If a woman gives you her phone number but you always get the answering machine, you may wonder why, especially if she calls you back from a different number. Is that really her number? Maybe she doesn’t like answering the phone to strangers, but once she knows you and recognizes your number, it is reasonable to expect her to pick up now and again.
Be very cautious if you never get to talk to her on the phone at all. If all you ever receive is emails and text messages in response to your phone calls, keep in mind that ’she’ may not be able to talk to you because ’she’ is not really a woman. This may not be a financial scam but perhaps a gay man wasting your time while he acts out a fantasy. Move on to a real woman who wants to speak to you.
The great thing about internet dating is that there are so many genuine people out there, looking for love. All you need to do is be aware of a few simple rules of safe online dating.